The Writer's Café

"Want some more rum?" Star asks with annoyance.

With a free hand, he sets one pistol to flame bolt behind his back and holds another bottle in the other.
 
Star walked to the center and increased power on anti-magic generator then gave cheese more rum.

"If a god walked into this cafe, they would have barely much more power than a regular mortal."
 
Cheese hurled a massive throwing axe at Star's head. No shield/spell had been created against this, so it would have worked, but the Cafe was weird and prevented death within it's grounds :P
 
Out

When I'm done with a game of secrets I'm not sure if I'm gonna go directly to a sequel, I'm thinking of writing a story called: The Afterlife and Other Lies. What'd ya think of the title?
 
Awesome title
Idc wat its about i gonna read it just cuz of da title lol
In
Reg's face turned Reg with fury. She had just found a new section of her magic book, but now she was unable to test it out! She waljed over to the device and mercilessly stomped on it until it broke.
 
Here's the sneak peek for Salvation.

Atop the roof of the tower, just a fee blocks away from the Cerberus Facility, Irin wept.

All the events in KaW, the revolution, the storming of the gate, the death of the Mods, all of it was for nothing. They'd merely been playing in a game, and they had lost.

On the other side of the roof, Cheese was welding together some metal he'd grabbed on their way out. The welding beam had also been taken, but from the corpse of a deceased engineer.

As he worked, he kept repeating the phrase.
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The numbers... The code, it's the only way.....

In his sleep, Benny thrashed around. He was feverish, and he wouldn't talk to anyone. Ever since the escape, he'd been changed. It was as if he wasn't human...
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Irin had no thoughts about the last one. The figure wouldn't leave the shadows, and it wouldn't accept food.

But the mental problems of her friends would have to wait.

Suddenly, a sound distracted Irin. She stared at the edge of the roof, and was shocked to see a hand go over the rail.

"A little help for a guy hanging on for dear life?"
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Hope you enjoyed the sneak peek
 
This is the start to my new story "alliance" pls say if you think it's good (chapter 1)"it's a beautiful day to die on"I said"you know we won't get killed"replied zee"just couse we have an escape plan doesn't mean it will work""we're 2 16year old smallish elves they dont suspect a thing""we took out a whole group of solders and they sent 150 man backup, they don't think we're helpless" i looked around our small jail cell we spent the past 5months in for killing some guards who were about to kill an innocent,helpless villager. We heard footsteps coming down the hall and all I had time to say was "follow my lead" then we heard the lock on our door being opened and a guard walked in "it's your lucky day,you're getting out of here"he said in a gruff,cold voice "although you're going to die" I assumed this was his idea of a joke and we both got up to follow him.as we left our cell there were 3 other guards there and 1 went in front of either of us and 1behind. I looked at zee and he looked back, we nodded. Simultaneously we attacked I gave an uppercut to the guard in front of me which sent him a few feet forward. I ran to him taking his sword and turned to see the other guard start to swing his sword at me. I ducked under his sword and sent mine through his cold heart. I turned and went to kill the guard who was lying on the floor and starting to wake .once i finished looked and found zee had already killed his guards and he said"we should probably find a place to put the bodies" we walked a little down the hallway and found an empty cell to throw the dead guards in.then we started with the tiles on the ceiling with our swords.we dropped 3 then started on the dirt above them which proved almost no difficulty.we used the low jagged walls to climb to the whole and we got out.
(chapter 2)We made a run to the forest and nice we got closer I felt the moss and shrubbery under my feet .once we got there we fell to the ground panting. "well you were rite zee "I said "it was your idea that got us out"he replied. after a while we got up and zee said"we should probably get some food and find some shelter"I nodded and said" meet back here in an hour". After the hour we both got back with more food then I had hoped.we looked around and found a good a place for us to spend the nite and we were both happy to sleep. The next morning we woke and (as we did the nite before) cooked some vegetables int a stew and had the fruit cold."what now?" I asked"well not much from what i see we'll probably be on wanted posters everywhere"zee replied "yeah but but no one likes the king" "despise would be more accurate" "I know of a little town on the outskirts of mohirad (the name of the kingdom) who mite rebel" "Not a foolproof plan but a plan none the less" "well then lets set out for cardean"
 
Second suggestion: Space inbetween dialogue. It's hard to tell who's talking.

Ex:
"You must be careful in how you handle magic," The sorceress said deliberately.
I nod slowly and ask, "How exactly do I do that?"
She smiles a smile far from reassuring. "First, you must trust me. Second, trust absolutely no one else."

A line for each character makes it neat to me.
 
Star Quietly sat in the cafe and waited for a familiar face. The low buzzing sound of the magic shield filled the air. Without warning, the air filled with gunshots as star fired several shots at the machine. Just a test, and they were effectively blocked by the shield.
 
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