I may not be dead,
But I sit on my bed,
I close my eyes,
And remember as far back as possible.
These were times I was little.
They are short and distorted.
As I go on the memories lengthen.
I'm still a small child,
Though my happiness fades.
I have little left,
All hope was lost.
My angel comes,
And lifts me high.
Though he turns out,
To be a nightmare,
That day,
I owed him my life,
He was the one who trusted me
When no one else did.
By this time tears are falling ,
They were once ignored,
Now felt as my clouded mind clears.
I was always tinted by my past,
My thoughts,
My feelings,
Ignored and thought to be gone.
Now as I approach my life here and now,
I find it to be empty,
I think I have lost my way.
Truthfully,
I've only ignored the best thing in life,
My feelings now,
Long ago,
And into the future.
I thought I was lost without you,
But I'm really lost obsessing
About the friendship we used to have.
I open my eyes,
I vow to end it.
I battle myself,
My hurt,
Used,
Abandoned self,
Has lost who I really was.
I was so outgoing,
So free and loving,
Now I'm in a dark cage,
Made by my own false feelings
About myself and life.
So only one question bares through the fog.
What do I do now?
Just a poem about my thoughts recently,
A little dark. What do u think?