I say, that's a pretty darn good-sounding story. I like it. As a comparison of mine to yours: mine is written by a 13-yr-old (me) yours is written by someone who most likely has much more writing experience(you) Well, that's what Ive got to say. Bye all
Well, then... But still, you were probably better than I am today. I'm not actually much of a writer, more of an artist/science lover LOL