@ Dan, thanks, but I don't think that's true. Yours still needs time to develope, and I think the first chapter is great! @Kyle, thanks. And I really wanted pizza for lunch yesterday xD. I'll edit that out of the finale draft.
It's nice! The beginning reminds me of Innocence. I guess you're the tense action story writer huh? Btw, where are you getting the names, because I loved the Innocence names, but these.. They are too normal in my opinion. Maybe something modern, but uncommon, like Javier or Maurice? Stuff like that, those names that you picked, sorry, but after Innocence's carefully planned plot and heavy detailing, a I'm thinking of is a plain office building with a cold cappuccino... But I would like to see where you take this LYLAS! lolz. iZaln
Lol, thanks Zaln. I made up the names in Innocence, besides those that were given to me in a character bio. Innocence is set in a completly different world from ours. An appearence from a human is rare. Soroth is mostly populated by Elves, with the occasional Dwarf and Angel. This story is set in our world. Normal humans, normal names. Well, for now, anyway... we haven't really uncovered anyones true identity yet, now have we...
No! Of course not! This is just for when I want to write something different. Innocence will definately continue.