I just realized that in the first 15 chapters of my book, there are 5 chapters that start with the main character waking up in some way. :\
I posted this as a thread with no replies sooo..... A drink a dose of love For he has been susceptibly irregular in these recent days. His gate is awkward and he's developed an aptitude to ever so gently, cautiously, lean his head to a side of his choosing. The position sends a chill far and wide, throughout my spine, but the young are not affected by this tendency, until recent quarrels. For he dissuades the young from any and every activity, and I once came home to see our boys locked in a room. He, however, was silently staring out the window pane, into a void of endless space. My footsteps have not stirred him from the creaking wooden chair in which he has so plotted himself on, and it seems he's in a daze. I pulled up a chair in frint of his dumbfounded view, and looked into his, once deep blue, serene eyes, which had now turned into a faceted pale glass with a lightened iris. Still, he remained a corpse. With loosing all faith in his quite odd state, I decided to check on children. Ever so lazily, I remember, I climbed the staircase, and opened the door. The children, however, were not in fact in the room. More intensely, I started to look; thinking this was a trivial game of hide and seek I called out "Sarah. Andy." The usual giggles that could be faintly heard, were not found. A pool of worry flushed through my viens, and I unsuccessfully tried to reassure myself. After wrestling with my thoughts of worry and guilt I decided to return downstairs to further search the house. I peered through each crack, and crevice, to find no children upstairs. However, I had remembered one spot which had just recently been discovered! I put my hand to my face in such misery for I had forgotten to check beneath the bed. I went back to their room, lifted up the covers, and a scream of a thousand worries jumped from my mouth. Robotically, I stepped, down the stairs, for what seemed like an eternity. I came back to where my husband lay. He was still there, lying, like a corpse. Still, a soft, but never the less alive, heart beat. My hands ransacked the draws, and pulled out the gun. I stood besides my husband, and kneeled.
@Grammar Unicorn I enjoy the majority it, but I found the sentences too small and short. Maybe there was too much repetition, I'm not sure -- it just didn't feel fresh. Try combining some sentences, I'm sure it will help a bit. Like I said, I enjoyed it. I loved the analogies and metaphors, so visual
Does anyone know where my feedback thread for A Changing Personality has disappeared to? I read through until the fifth page and it isn't there.