The Writer's Café

Alone

Sitting at my desk,
All alone in my room,
No matter where I am,
my heart cries out for you

I feel so abandoned,
whenever you're far away
I wish I could wrap you in my arms
Oh I can't wait until May...

Mommy got a letter today
Some guys in uniform gave it.
She sat there and cried and cried and cried,
I grabbed the letter, and I read what it had to say

I only got 3 lines in, before it all sunk in
My knees hit the floor, my head pounded
I couldnt understand why this had happened
Why would God let this happen??

I cried for days, I never did stop
And it gets worse by the year
So when I hear all the christmas cheer,
My body shakes from toes to the top




This is my first forums post.. I know its not good, I set out to make it rhyme but I lost control and just let my feelings pour out. I had to stop early too, so if you guys want more than just give me feedback. thanks for reading...
 
I like it, actually.

You can almost taste the raw emotion. I like the way it starts out composed, but kind of just tumbles into an emotional wreck. It captures the pain you felt.
 
Dragon, just come up with something creative and post it here haha

And just got a kindle fire, downloaded kaw, and gonna see Les Misérables
 
Awesome.

I've been banished from the kitchen for sampling all of our Christmas lunch/dinner. Several times. (The gravy is really, REALLY good.) We also tried sous vide for the first time, resulting in a smoking of the kitchen and the near death-by-smoke-inhalation of my hamster.
 
Phoenix said:
Snowing right now...
Pyrox, I really like the poem.
That's some good emotion right there. Post more!



And is it real?
Click to expand...

Is it real? No. One of my friends fathers died on Christmas when they were 10 and I wrote it for them. And I will post more later tonight if you'd like.
 
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