The Writer's Café

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Irin (01), Jul 20, 2010.

  1. Two chapters in one night, now my brain hurts :( My story is called the dark army if anyone is interested

    Little Prolougy thing? I don't know just call it a preview.

    Ter’iol and Azdin. The only dark spaces in existence, the last haven for my kind, against those that would do us harm. We are the last, the only on this land. No, I would not say God forsaken, for it is the gods of others who have given them their victories over our dwindling race. In all the histories of various lands they rarely tell the story of the dark and powerful. Those who practice in the dark arts, forsaken by all.
  2. Everybodys storys are heating up!!!!
  3. I take it that you are talking about me and bastion as well...
  4. Lol it must be a KaW heat wave :p Well im done for the night ty for the apple juice Irin it really helped Im gonna hit the sack :)
  5. @Ace, well, can you call an hour ago the present?

    @Matt, thanks! Not bad. Added a short post to "When the Sun Sets," earlier today. I'm thinking I'll work on Innocence tomorrow.
  6. @Ace, What???

    @Gloomi, no problem. And your story's sounding really good! See you later
  7. Matt said that everyones stories are heating up.
  8. Also, you called an hour ago the past, and not present.
  9. Oh. Yeah, I agree. The fan fic forum has been a bit more active lately.
  10. Heh. I just found it on the active topics.
  11. What????

    @irin nice!!! More!!!

    @gloo nice chapter it's cool!!
  12. What happened??
  13. Lol, cool!

    -looks around- hmm...slow night. -grabes a coke can, sits down, then takes out pen and paper-
  14. Thanks Matt. Thing is, I'm still not sure how the plot is going to work. :)
  15. Still alls well!!!:] sit down
  16. Alright then. 
  17. This scene in the book is where the main character has joined a strange cult called the children. They have some strange power drawn from the connection. It is his first meal and theyve told him there would be a ritual at the end. 

    My dinner did not last long. I ate ravenously, finishing half of it before Silver approached me holding a tall metal cup decorated with an ankh in relief on either side. 

    "what is it?" i asked, taking a sip of the clear liquid. The taste was strong and bitter. My head went immediately light, as it burned its way to my stomach. It did not taste like any alcohol i had sampled and i cant explain its tangy flavor. It was oranges and cheyenne: salt and fire not entirely unpleasant, but certainly not something i would have picked for myself. 

    "drink it all. Its important," he told me very solemly. 

    "what's in it?" i became concerned. Was the ritual about to begin? Why was everyone so quiet?

    "never end," was his only response. He turned and joined a group of the children who stood at tge firelight's edge, waiting for something. 

    Nervously, i took another sip. It turned out to be no less harsh than the first, assaulting my tastebuds, and lighting a fire behind my eyes. Already my senses swam. I found it hard to focus my sight. All of the children's eyes were upon me. 

    Someone began to beat on a drum. I looked around but no one seemed to be moving. A constant rythm filled the air, drowning out the static hiss of fire.
    Continued in a sec.... 
  18. There seemed no way out of it so i quickly guzzled down the potent elixir, forcing it beyond my tongue. My stomach tried to violently reject the feirce fluid, but i managed to contain it with deep breaths and a white knuckled grip on the table. I gasped in the cold air around me and looked at the three cups in my hand, trying to see if anything was left. The world became a blur of rich colors and shapes dancing before my eyes and swaying head. No alcohol was this strong!  It had to be drugged!

    "come into the fire, dear Jade."

    I jerked my head around, falling from the bench to the moist grass. The ground shifted like water, and i could not find my bearings. Where was the fire? For that matter, which way was up?

    "never end. Never end. Never end." the children were all around me, chanting without moving their lips. They motioned towards the fire a towering column of searing heat and brilliant light. Deep within the blaze stood a slender figure with outstretched arms, disguised by the flare of burning wood and smoke like a fog in the cool night. The drum picked up the pace keeping with the chant, clouding my ears with further distraction.

    "come into the fire." the figure beckoned over the endless chanting and hypnotic beat.
    Its long i know. Ill continue again if u guys want me to finish the scene