You need to give us a plot if we are to judge it. It doesn't really matter where it is, its the conflict in the story that matters!
No I'm not lol I'm just pointing it out. MY guide has gotten comments from people who I haven't needed to point it out to. I also critique people well, and can tell them what they need to work on.
GlooMi rolls her eyes at Fang and let's out a loud sigh. "Fang now you're being ridiculous." she grumbles. "stop teasing me!"
"Ummm..."Irin said, unsure if she did or not. "Ill go check in the back." She goes behind the counter and into the kitchen where she looks for the beverage asked of her. "Hmmm...no vanilla coke. No matter..." Irin waved her hand and mumered a spell. On the shelf in front of her, a 12 pack of vanilla coke appeared out of thin air. Irin grabed two cans, then walked out of the kitchen. "Found it!" she said, holding the cans up.
Star walks into the cafe. "I need some initiative to write my story" He boredly mutters As if on cue, several ninjas rush in and tie him to his chair. They threaten him. They claim they have his brother and tell him to write or else. He looks at them, trying to hide a grin. "I need some character ideas first" He then states. But... Could there be something else...
Sorry irin, I'm no longer interested in caffeine. Did I ever tell you I dreamed of a flower named irin? Are you invading my dreams?!?!
I'm pretty sure irin didn't control my dreams. I dreamt of some kind of carnival, and a pool with three trampolines in it!