There's No tl,dr deal with it I am the king of my land. I have spent almost 7 years building my army up slowly as they get into a lot of drunken fights with other kingdoms. I have amassed over 400000 troops, equalivent to 106* million attack power (i dont know why our world does this weird ranking system for all kingdoms in the land. Im still not used to it) I am currently in a international war and , i have found a target to attack. I blow the rallying horn and I lead my army into battle. 1/3rd of the way into their land the enemy army appears. Only a few thousand Milita. A sure victory I thought but then, a mighty roar raises up from them and they charge full speed, some with no weapon at all. My troops stopped in disbelief I turn around to yell at them and my heart sank in pure and utter dismay... THEY ARE ALL DRUNK AGAIN I hear mutters of the enemy army being invincible, and watching them sprint at us full tilt, outnumbered 200-1, with burning hatred in thier eyes. Id almost believe it if i didnt know for a fact that nobody is invicble, besides this is not an elite army, just townsfolk from the lowlands. But before i can calm my army they erupt in horror, one of them stands on his horse, points towards his brothers in arms behind him and screams in almost a bloody shriek "ATTACK THEM, IF WE JOIN THE OTHER KING WE WONT GET SLAUGHTERED" ........ The enemy army, only 50 metres away from myself stops in complete shock as my army turns on eachother just before the battle began (good thing they were out of hearing range, they may have attacked or worse, they'd tell other kings and queens and I'd be the laughing stock of the nation for months, actually i still will be after this :/ ) Im sure the enemy will get out of their trance soon, I sigh and turn to my army and blow my warhorn again, signaling retreat. I yell "you idiots, you are killing eachother to not die!" As if not a single one could come to that conclusion... (you know what, its possible) I turn and push my horse back towards my kingdom. Roll call 4 minutes later, 8% of my army killed eachother. After 5 minutes I look back and 8% who died are back in the same position of my forces as they were pre battle. Its surely why we all war so much. Tl;Dr ( yeah I know some of you won't appreciate my attempt at kaw fails through the eyes of your character in a lighthearted and hopefully humorous way, you just came here for the firestorm that will surely be the comment section, grab your popcorn . For the rest of you, thank you for sitting through that, it might be a tedious read. Im baked as a cake , its not legal yet but the good leafy greens will be soon enough that the police don't care. Anyway back to Tl;Dr) >hit full troops 106*mcs vs 61.2k cs > lose > hit again... win > try 3rd time dtw i guess it'd be a good time to see if my poor character suffered through this or my opponent has a lot more charms . Thank you for reading or not reading. -Grave Edit: hella charms.