I do not doubt your logic angel. you even remembered to divide by pimd! And Canadian.... We will talk elsewhere..... Or not at all..... Let this do the talking. *slides a brown bulging envolope across table* what does this say to you?
It's... Eh. You call it the last samurai, and yet it doesn't feel like the last samurai. There's no overhanging sense of finality throughout, and the JAPANESE DID NOT CALL EACH-OTHER MISTER AND MISSES UNTIL VERY RECENTLY. You make a lame, crippled story out of an interesting idea, and it hasn't recovered.
Oh, and we take things relatively seriously here as opposed to PiMD. That cheeky optimism thing you're doing isn't scoring any points with us.
What optimism?1.This was originaly a oneshot and I was only planning on him being the last guy alive. If you even bothered to pay attention enough to relise that he was the only samurai alive, and two WHAT FRICKEN OPTOMISM? i was most likely being sarcastic. And two I really don't care what you think, I wrote this out of boredom. And I wrote this a few months ago. It was the first story I write so yes, it does stink a bit. Of course I did improve it later in the updates. And three, WHY WOULD I WANT ANY POINTS WITH YOU? pay attention or shutup. And learn to recognize sarcasm.
And another thing. I fricken live in America, they don't tell us enough about japan to know what they called each other (insert number here) years ago. This ain't a histery report so stop with the logic troll stuff and blame america's learning process. And agian, WHAT OPTIMISM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? and agian, why would I WANT to score points with any of you? It's not like I actually care what very many people think about my writing... If I ask whoever might happen to be reading this if they would like to see something it's not that I care very much. I simply try to make my writing enjoyable to the people who actually pay attention enough. Those people can give honest critisism and I will listen if I can. However you don't even pay attention to know something then you start turning into logic troll and stuff. Don't like it, don't read. I already wrote it so it'll get better later in the updates! This was my first story that wasn't assighned that I have wrote in my life so expect errors.
Logic =/= trolling. Cheese is stating facts that you can use to revise and make your story better. He's stating several facts, all of which are true. We are not PIMD. We do not accept the same things as PIMD. The communities do not work together. Hence, nothing should be crossed over.
Alright, I'll admit I didn't read the story fully, I only skimmed. As for the whole Japanese surname thing, that's just a peeve I have. It would have gone over better if you hadn't used Mr. As for the optimism, it's the way you reply to all your feedback. If someone points out your flaws, acknowledge them. This isn't PiMD. We actually WANT people to improve. As for Tash and Goodbye Cruel World, that should never have left PiMD. That's a load of angst and sick thoughts.
I'm gonna throw in one last bit of criticism. Shogun means General Lord (something like that), basically the Emperor, controlling the entire military. There are Daimyos, which if I remember correctly were lords of the land, and they were essentially commanders. I know this because I've been forced to read, and them stopped reading Shogun. Good book.
Eh, maybe I did get a bit too defensive.... But I do not count this as critisism. When I hear critisism I would like to hear it like, :Work on your spelling and plotlines a bit! Other than that it's ok! Or something like that. How I read it :Oi! Get off your lazy butt and get something done! But I still like your story so don't take it the wrong way! It needs improving but it's getting there! How I read what you said:I am not qualified to be giving critisism since I didn't even bother to read it but Ima say anyway your story sucks! Ya know why? Because writing isn't about you having fun it's either accurate or it is useless and garbage! And I don't even care that Japanese history isn't a course in any of the schools you've been to or that you didn't live there! So there! Either do it my way with a ton of extra work making it not even likeable to do anymore or don't do it at all!
I apologize. I was in a bad mood and took it out on you. I like it here, the justice system is pretty fair. Please accept my apologess. And yes, I am horrible at spelling.