Second Chapter Age 15 In the Kingdom of Eton all children are given a choice of career. I chose an apprenticeship for the royal army, the school for military leaders, only available to royals and the royal orphanages. I came from the later. We orphans were and still are looked down upon by the royal blooded students and the teachers. Allowing us orphans to attend the royal schools is a subject of contrives between the lords and our king, the lords saying that we don’t deserve any better. Our classmates don’t let us forget. On my way to my new, I guess you could call it, home; I encountered a not so pleasant surprise. Our group of three was halted buy a group of fourth year students much larger than us. We never stood a chance. Instead of being let of our first day of classes we were forced to limp around from the dorms to strategies to endurance to fighting skills and finally history. Nick, Louie and I were treated like beggars and like we were stupid. The truth was that I was better at most of the classes than them. By the time I was 16 I had top marks in all my classes and even the royal idiots didn’t beat up on me, as much. But the week before my 17 birthday, everything changed. The chief director called us all to attention in the main courtyard. “As I am sure you all have been wondering why I have called you here today.” He explained from behind his podium. “So I am going to keep it simple. King Alexander has declared war on King Brenton and our marvelous Kingdom of Eton.” He stopped waiting for the news to sink into his audience. Immediately conversations broke out around the courtyard. The Director raised his hand for silence. “But that is not the news I have come to give. King Brenton has given me orders to choose four talented individuals to fill the missing spots and become commanders for his legions.” He again raised his hand as excited whispering again broke out in the crowed. “So I have chosen the four most promising students and sent their names to our king. And I will announce them to you who they are, Tomorrow” he finished as he stepped away from the podium. Classes were canceled for the rest of the day and the courtyard was alive with conversation. I was talking to my friends from the orphanage, Nick and Louie. “Um, who do you think that the director picked, Seth?” asked Louie, “I bettcha that he picked you.” I stared at him.” You’re joking right; I’m not even a third year yet!” I couldn’t understand what he was saying, Louie was the most serious person I had ever met and it didn’t seem like he was being sarcastic. So I said “you really need to work on your sarcasm, even I couldn’t find it in there.” “No, I’m serious. Haven’t you seen the ways that the Director looks at you? Its like he treats you as his son. Nick chipped in, “You haven’t noticed, have you?” I thought about that for a while as I remembered the way the Director looked at me during fighting skills. Was I his son? Soon after, we were heading back to the dorms to rest for the ceremonies and farewell parties. I think I had more on my mind than anyone else.
I loved the whole thing, although there were grammatical mistakes, I loved the story just loved it, honestly, I think you should make some grammar changes and work on getting it published- seriously!!!!!
I swear to KaW, Iron. WHEN YOU POST A DAMN PARAGRAPH, PRESS THAT FANCY BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM RIGHT - IT SAYS "RETURN"
Yeah I wasn't sure what was up with that first chapter was that all of it or just the first paragraph not trying to be mean but you never se books without paragraphs
Third Chapter The following day, I woke up more tired than when I had fallen into a restless sleep. I had dreams full of violent fighting and a strange voice that kept saying something like, “Seth, I am your father.” Scary, right? Anyway, when I finally got out of bed I noticed a new set of robes. Looking around I saw that everyone else had gotten a robe too. I figured that they must be from our king because of the royal purple and the king’s stamp on the collar. I dressed quickly and hurried into the protocol lines for dress inspection. Our vice director, Clamp, as he insisted on being called, was protocol inspector for everything from clothing to strait lines and even penmanship. As he walked along our dorm house’s line, he seemed in a good mood throughout the entire line, that is, until he got to me. He stopped in front of me and looked at me with accusing eyes. “Seth, I think you forgot something.” He frowned. I winced as he reached into his pocket were he kept his old leather glove there for this exact situation. But instead of pulling out his glove, he pulled out a shinning piece of bronze, used for seeing your own reflection in it. I looked at myself in the bronze, looking at my brown eyes for a second before my eyes drifted to my hair. Slightly longer than regulation, which was not quite past my ears but still long enough to stand up, and red, it was always in the way. I noticed the absolute mess it was in and quickly searched for my comb. Noticing my problem, Nick handed his comb to me behind his back. I soon had the disaster under control, and Clamp being satisfied moved on. I handed Nick back his comb, thanking him, just as the line started to move towards the courtyard. When we arrived, the celebrations had begun. Our line stopped in awe at the sight of so many people crowding the courtyard. By the looks of it, the majority of the nobles and ladies were here along with a few of their servants. Our dorm leader dismissed us and we spread out into the crowd with in our groups of friends. I soon lost track of Nick and Louie and ended up just wandering around the crowd. I notice some interesting information about the war and our enemy, the Kingdom of Casco. Their general, Lord Frost, had lead his army to our northern boundary and preparing to lay siege on Castle Tohee. Tohee’s chances were not good. Our king’s scouts had declared that their army numbered in the thousands and that they had many skilled fighters. One rumor also stated that our assassins were going to attempt to murder General Frost. The Director stepped up to the podium, and silence came over the gathered audience. “As you all know, I am here to announce our four most talented and respectable students will be sent to our glorious Capital, Castel Nox. But before we began, I would like to congratulate all of our Fourth year students who have made it through our vigorous training and advanced subjects, all of whom will be graduating at the end of this year,” announced the Director. At this a cheer went up from all the fourth year students. Smiling the director asked all of the students to come up to the front of the courtyard and sit in the chairs. He announced that the names would be read in ten minutes and that everyone would please find a comfortable spot to watch the ceremonies. I started on my way to were Nick, Louie and I planned to sit, but was stopped by my tactics teacher, as he asked me to follow him. So, instead of sitting in the middle with the rest of the second year students, I ended up in the front row with the fourth year students and teachers. “Attention Lords, Ladies, Staff and Students, I am here to announce our king’s confirmation of my selected students has returned and has been accepted.” The director paused a moment for applause. “Though this list may surprise many of you I would like to ask you all to remain polite and respectful of your king choices.” Many of the Lords glanced around in unease as he said this. I had a feeling something strange was about to take place. “I would like to add one thing before we start. This is one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in all my years as the Director of this school. Many more had potential to be generals but just barely missed the mark. Thank you. Now on to the selection,” “Our first choice as Third Royal General is Barton Hamilton.” Baron was definitely a good choice he exceeded in his fighting skills class and in the history of the fighting tactics. He was grinning from ear to ear as he walked up to the Director. The Direct said something into Barton’s ear as he pinned the medal on his chest. I couldn’t hear it over the loud shouting and clapping of the audience, but it made Barton smile even more if that was possible. Barton was then led off the stage by Clamp. When Clamp returned the Director continued. “Our next choice as Western General is Dmitri Gray.” Again another great choice, from the Director I thought. Dmitri was also excelled in fighting but also was very good at tactics and endurance training. Though Dmitri could have easily been one of the kingdoms royal spies, he had instead chosen to be a general. Dmitri quietly crept up to the podium where he was given his medal and led off stage. Once again with much clapping and shouts. “Next, as Second and Third Generals of the North are Seth Allan and Jane Fischer.”
Third chapter Part 2 I guess I should have seen it coming, me having to sit in front, the Director looking at me during the speech yesterday and the warning of a surprise to the lords. Although, me being chosen was just as different as Jane being chosen, the combination of the choices led to a few seconds of awestruck silence and confusion. Unsure I rose to my feet and started walking towards the podium. Jane soon followed suite as one or two people clapped for us. Soon everyone was clapping, though not with as near as much energy or enthusiasm as with Dmitri or Barton. As the Director handed us our medals, he whispered to us so quietly I could hardly hear, “I took a big risk choosing you two and luckily, the king agreed. Now you just need to prove yourselves to the people.” he smiled and sent us away with Clamp. Back by the other two new generals, we had to be fitted into our new robes as the Director finished his speech. The new robes were a deep red with the seal of the king and in my case the seal of the northern region. It was the robes of a general. When the speech finally came to an end, we were made to walk out in front of the podium. “Students, This is what you could become. They were all more or less normal when they came here the rest of you,” He glanced at me and Jane, “with and now they are the strategy and encouragement behind our men. Soldiers will look up to and ask for advice, and you, my students, will be able to fill that role. You will be able to lead us to victory!” He shouted as the whole courtyard filled with cheers chants and battle cries from when the lords were in their prime. I will admit it now; these people filled me with pride and strength to think: I am a general. I can win this war.