The KaW Chronicles Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FeatherHunter, Jan 9, 2011.

  1. Oops…
    *humans who are from serpentan origin are gifted with special abilities like the ability to go to the spirit world etc.
    Serpentines are highly dangerous!
    Arria is one of the last 3 remaining Serpentines…
    Note: The reason Arria's eyes glowed is because she was going through her first spirit walk. Because her mind unlocked her 3rd part of her brain, the spirit part.
    She discovered then that she was a serpentine
     
  2. Awesome! This is a really cool story!
     
  3. Thx I redid that last post that I originally posted on my birthday then I accidentally deleted it
    I want everyone to reread it cause I changed a lot of stuff!
     
  4. I read it for the first time and it's good! Only problem I can see is that the characters got to know each other a tad bit too fast. I do that a lot too though.
     
  5. In the first chapter I see what u mean.
     
  6. Yeah, it was the first chapter.
     
  7. How should I get them to know each other, anyone?
     
  8. That's not my strongest point in story making. All my characters seem to get to know each other too fast also.
     
  9. You can try through events, family, stories, "myths", accidents...etc.
     
  10. Opps I bit vague...hmmm
    Events: Through things happening, just gradually meeting a person that your destined to meet evatually.
    Family:people from your family intos new characters to the main
    Accidents: Like when someone gets hurt of close to it, another characters helps/saves them.
    Myths/Stories: Reading about a character that's supposed to be fiction but then finding out they're real.
     
  11. Intros* not intos
     
  12. Thx Stora and marian we both should work on it
     
  13. Time warp part two is up
     
  14. Sorry about the vulgarity (or whatever u would like to call it)
     
  15. Ooh.....I wanna know more!
     
  16. ALERT!! 2 mistakes!

    1 u announce moderator angel then say administrator angel got shot..

    2 not rlly but just my character is angel.. Is this me or another person? If me it coulda been a copy..
     
  17. Well here's the thing:
    You see I realize I have several PoV's, and I needed to decrease that amount so I kinda sorta well, killed your character off...