Very informative but try not to put ur own words in.(like it's the writer talking to the reader.) The part where you start putting in the info about the garden of Edam and Sil something... Instead of using: You must read this to understand...(Or what u used there) Try putting in like: An excerpt from [insert name of book here]. This is an idea that kinda keeps the story flowing. Otherwise very good!
I wish that thou would calm down cheese, for many prefer the midevil speech you find so distasteful. @FH nice new chapter.
YES FINALLY IT WORKED FORUMS IS WORKING FOR ME AGAIN Ok so I'll tell u the story I was trying to post a long new part to finish the chapter and it wouldn't let me so then I had to CHOP my post in half And then once it posted the first half THE SECOND HALF WOULDN'T POST I WAS MAD NOW SO THEN O FIGURED OUT FOR THE SECON HALF I HAD TO TAKE OUT THE LINKS TO THE FEEDBACK AND SIGN UP LOL U HAPPY NOW ORDO I didn't get to post the links lol FOR EVERYONE WHO READS KaW Chronicles I'm gonna merge the two so don't worry I'll do it on pc Irin arria is in the second half of the new part!!
pretty good but i got a bit confused and lost at the part where there is the stadium and the first 3 POV's.
Too Many POVs in general. Usually you want to stick with 3 or less. First person may not be suited for your type of writing if you have to tell the story with so many POVs. Next time try 3rd person omnicient, it may work better for you.