The KaW Chronicles Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FeatherHunter, Jan 9, 2011.

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  1. I just started reading, i likeee. First thing I can already see though (and this is purely fine tuning suggestion, not contextual): you will likely have to make a choice between heavy dialogue and 1st person narration to make it flow better. I think they may be clashing a little and you should veer more toward one direction or the other :)

    And thanks for your off topic post! I didn't know this section was here, I love writing...

    xx
     
    #281 Reigna, Mar 25, 2011
  2. Lol!
    Want to be in it?
    I need some leaders for the DoDeca Tribes!
     
    #282 FeatherHunter, Mar 25, 2011
  3. thx colonial!
     
    #283 FeatherHunter, Mar 25, 2011
  4. Test:

    • Jasmine ~ Leader of the Chorona, First Tribe of Lyrgor: Located in Istanbul, Turkey
    • Kaedus ~ Leader of the Illustrocity, Second tribe of Lyrgor: Located in Mumbai, India
    • Brian ~ Leader of the Alpheiga, Third tribe of Lyrgor: Located in Lhasa, Tibet
     
    #284 FeatherHunter, Mar 26, 2011
  5. Whoooo!
     
    #285 *IRONhulk (01), Mar 26, 2011
  6. Iron, you were already banned here. Plus, you can't respond to this. XD
     
    #286 Smighter89, Mar 26, 2011
  7. oooh, Feather!! I'm flattered!! Xo. Yes, Yes, Yes!!
     
    #287 Reigna, Mar 26, 2011
  8. Your gonna be a queen reigna...

    CHAPTER 7: PART ONE

    THE ROMANCISTS

    AND

    PART TWO

    PARTIAL VENGEANCE, FULL REVENGE

    HAS BEEN POSTED!!!!
     
    #288 FeatherHunter, Apr 7, 2011
  9. You are very good but pride could be your downfall. So be careful


    The names king......eagleking
     
    #289 Eagleking, Apr 7, 2011
  10. Only you have the final decision though others can help in the end it's up to you
     
    #290 Eagleking, Apr 7, 2011
  11. ...Did Lynet.....?

    ...

    Lol nice chapter I think it's your best so far.
     
    #291 Storallelite, Apr 8, 2011
  12. So Jerad's eyes change colour because of his alter ego?
     
    #292 Storallelite, Apr 8, 2011
  13. I give this story a age rating of 18
     
    #293 Eagleking, Apr 8, 2011
  14. *dust*
     
    #294 Eagleking, Apr 8, 2011
  15. Two forums, both alike in dignity,
    In fair KAW where we lay our scene,
    From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
    Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
    From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
    A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life.
     
    #295 Eagleking, Apr 9, 2011
  16. Yes Stora...she did...with JASPER...and :eek: STAR!

    Eagle, only post stuff on this thread related to the story, other than that you can leave.

    And yeah stora, because of jasper his eyes change color.
     
    #296 FeatherHunter, Apr 9, 2011
  17. Ok um why did it suddenly get all you know 
     
    #297 Eagleking, Apr 9, 2011
  18. 
     
    #298 Storallelite, Apr 9, 2011
  19. My thoughts exactly eagleking..
     
    #299 Empress_of_Shadows, Apr 9, 2011
  20. its still a good story 5*
     
    #300 *kingeagle (01), Apr 9, 2011
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