The KaW Chronicles Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FeatherHunter, Jan 9, 2011.

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  1. Yes you'll find out later and serpents and centega are from King Teja's Guidebook
     
    #221 FeatherHunter, Feb 27, 2011
  2. Too many points of view- this is very confusing. It's a good rule of thumb to have around 2 PoVs per story.

    Also you need to work on the style and language. It feels very flat and not as interesting.

    Voice: Another problem with your PoVs is that when I'm reading, I can't hear them speaking to me in my head. Like it was aforesaid, the writing is very flat.

    Keep going and have fun :D
     
    #222 *iPimella (01), Feb 28, 2011
  3. What do u mean style.
     
    #223 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  4. Vocabulary, sytax etc.
     
    #224 *iPimella (01), Feb 28, 2011
  5. Its so long D: i only read a few chapters. I'll read the rest later lol
    Its rly interesting but a little confusing. I think confusing stories r even better They make me wanna keep reading so tht i can figure out wats going on lol
     
    #225 lIIIl__Reg-MidgetTerror__IllII, Feb 28, 2011
  6. Lol thx an GIoomi in what ways does it not have style
     
    #226 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  7. Your sentance structure, word variation, and flow need work. Your writing is too choppy.
     
    #227 *iPimella (01), Feb 28, 2011
  8. OK...
     
    #228 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  9. But keep writing! You're not a n00b!
     
    #229 *iPimella (01), Feb 28, 2011
  10. Ok gloomi
     
    #230 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  11. The PoVs is kinda overwalming to keep up with whow but i do alright
     
    #231 Empress_of_Shadows, Feb 28, 2011
  12. Lol it's easy for me to keep up with them... hmmm. Why can't y'all?
     
    #232 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  13. Cause your wrighting it you know all the characters better
     
    #233 Empress_of_Shadows, Feb 28, 2011
  14. Interesting
     
    #234 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  15. I keep up
     
    #235 *bobsword (01), Feb 28, 2011
  16. :) lol good
     
    #236 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  17. I think I'll have to kill some people off...
     
    #237 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  18. Or decrease the pov's however shall I do that?
     
    #238 FeatherHunter, Feb 28, 2011
  19. Hmmm... Interesting. In a good way. Though I do agree that all the POVs make it hard to follow.
     
    #239 *Irin (01), Mar 1, 2011
  20. That's kinda why arria didn't really talk in chapter 5 PART ONE
     
    #240 FeatherHunter, Mar 1, 2011
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