Ok just some critism. You sometimes switch from present to past tense. Occasionaly overuse words, eg in chapter 2 you used the word chip. That's all That needs improving. Your stories are awesome, keep up the good work. And hurry up and write the next chapter rofl.
I'll edit them when I get the chance Ive got to go, life has gotten real busy, if you guys find anything else wrong with the story please post them, I want to make the story better. Thank you.
Lol whenever I finish posting I always have something else to write lol. I still need characters. 3 villans please post some. Btw the man in the trees name is going to be Alex. Thanks to German idiot rofl.
No.1 what happens to zan???? Here's my character name:roth personality:layed back appearence:dark shadowy eyes that stand out against his bleach White skin the colour drained from his face by staring at a computer age:14 gender:male
He is going to be earth villain just to clarify it for you, now I need 2 more villains preferable older ones, like around 20s ish lol.
Nameamian Jones Age:24 Element:thunder Appearance:black, 6'6, short hair, goute Bio:u can make it up hope I helped
Have you done anything for the next part If not... lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: DEAD THREAD :evil:
part 2 is finally up like i said, i have been really busy with assignments and what not, im sure alot of you guys can understand. Well i hope you enjoy it.