Hey ok I'm sorry for the downfall but I'm very good at story writing I think you should remake the story so they use there powers to capture bastion and just pistols come on if they got powers why would you do pistols but otherwise that story was pretty good you should edit it a bit and think of publishing
Yeah king I was thinking about that and all but they haven't totally mastered their powers. This is just a rough sketch and all. I know it could use some improving. Thank you for the feedback
I think it needs a bit more detail, if you don't mind me saying. For instance, when you said that you used super speed, you simply said it. (Am I making any sense?) instead, try to describe how it felt to run fast, how you sliced through the air, or how your legs moved powerfully. Things like that.
Yeah I understand. I didn't know how much detail to put cuz it's a story on KaW so I was just gonna try to make it kinda short. Not 100 pages.