Can you proof read this before I release this? Isaac rushed though the abanonded city, searching for living people, Isaac's beatiful bionic arm had gone to waste crushing the face of a mutant off, and slamming it againist a wall. Issac always felt sad when he had to use his ultimate bionic arm to injure others but if a freak with claws jumps from a building and ambushes you, what else can you do? Issac was being to think this was some kind of sick, twisted test for sciencist and they've knocked him unconicess and rigged him up to a mind machine, because on a normal saturday morning a giant storm and and deadly meteor shower don't often happen, and your parents and brother don't normally turn into mutants. As Isaac was hastly turning a rough bend he heard something, the sound of a bionic arm moving, so close to him. But stopped, because no-one in Isaac's area has bionic arm, and bionic arms aren't that common, even in 2012. Issac thought this was a good place to stop, catch his breath, think and trace his steps back. Isaac had been running for about two hours and was searching for food drink and shelter, Isaac had had stashed some food and drink so that wasn't that bad, but he had no place to camp out and sleep, and in a city full of mutants that would think twice about ripping you up and eating you shelter was vital. But Isaac's train of thought when a voice could be heard and it said "SCANNING AREA FOR LIFE FORMS," Isaac almost straight away ran. But this was a army robot, it could scan a five hundread square metre area in ten seconds, and this was the right robot for scanning a mutant hazard zone. It sensed Isaac and hunted him down like a blood hound, it chased his tail for about ten seconds before it was about ten metres from Isaac. It was like the terminator in the movie The Terminator, a big human build but still clearly a robot, beacuse on its right arm was a chain gun and its left eyes was a close up scanner, half it's face was torn off and a metal framing of bones showed. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME HUMAN?" It said speaking in a slow but loud voice. "What is your's robot?" "I ASKED FIRST! ANSWER MY QUESTION OR I WILL HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR BODY TO DUST!" The robot said pushing it's chain gun arm forwards to show that it would blast him into a thousand pieces. "My name is Isaac! Now you answer my question!" "MY NAME IS RIGNYS THE DESTROYER," Isaac had the most stupid thought and sometime must had taken over his vocal chords, because the next thing he said was, "You are a threat to me! I MUST elimnate you" It took Isaac ten seconds to be pinned, because Issac had thought that Rignys would be a slow predicible robot, but he was far from that. Isaac had drawn his handgun first and shot Rignys at the shoulder, but the bullet bounced off like it was made of rubber, Rignys slowly walked towards Isaac and simply picked him up by the neck and thrown him to the ground. "NOW DO YOU SEE WHY THEY CALL ME THE DESTROYER? YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO TEAM UP WITH ME TO ELIMINATE THE MUTANTS!" And Isaac had no other thing to do but team up with Rignys. Isaac moved to shake Rignys robotic hand but a splitting pain shot though his head like a lightning bolt. Isaac screamed in pain as it bounced back and forth in his head ringing like a bell, Isaac felt like someone had used a tesla tower inside his head and his head was made of metal. Isaac continued screaming and shouting and the very last thing he saw before he blacked out was Rignys rushing forwards to catch him.
Yes something to do! My corrections will be below the original in red. Isaac rushed though the abanonded city, searching for living people, Isaac's beatiful bionic arm had gone to waste crushing the face of a mutant off, and slamming it againist a wall. Issac always felt sad when he had to use his ultimate bionic arm to injure others but if a freak with claws jumps from a building and ambushes you, what else can you do? Issac was being to think this was some kind of sick, twisted test for sciencist and they've knocked him unconicess and rigged him up to a mind machine, because on a normal saturday morning a giant storm and and deadly meteor shower don't often happen, and your parents and brother don't normally turn into mutants. As Isaac was hastly turning a rough bend he heard something, the sound of a bionic arm moving, so close to him. But stopped, because no-one in Isaac's area has bionic arm, and bionic arms aren't that common, even in 2012. Issac thought this was a good place to stop, catch his breath, think and trace his steps back. Isaac had been running for about two hours and was searching for food drink and shelter, Isaac had had stashed some food and drink so that wasn't that bad, but he had no place to camp out and sleep, and in a city full of mutants that would think twice about ripping you up and eating you shelter was vital. But Isaac's train of thought when a voice could be heard and it said "SCANNING AREA FOR LIFE FORMS," Isaac almost straight away ran. But this was a army robot, it could scan a five hundread square metre area in ten seconds, and this was the right robot for scanning a mutant hazard zone. It sensed Isaac and hunted him down like a blood hound, it chased his tail for about ten seconds before it was about ten metres from Isaac. It was like the terminator in the movie The Terminator, a big human build but still clearly a robot, beacuse on its right arm was a chain gun and its left eyes was a close up scanner, half it's face was torn off and a metal framing of bones showed. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME HUMAN?" It said speaking in a slow but loud voice. "What is your's robot?" "I ASKED FIRST! ANSWER MY QUESTION OR I WILL HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR BODY TO DUST!" The robot said pushing it's chain gun arm forwards to show that it would blast him into a thousand pieces. "My name is Isaac! Now you answer my question!" "MY NAME IS RIGNYS THE DESTROYER," Isaac had the most stupid thought and sometime must had taken over his vocal chords, because the next thing he said was, "You are a threat to me! I MUST elimnate you" It took Isaac ten seconds to be pinned, because Issac had thought that Rignys would be a slow predicible robot, but he was far from that. Isaac had drawn his handgun first and shot Rignys at the shoulder, but the bullet bounced off like it was made of rubber, Rignys slowly walked towards Isaac and simply picked him up by the neck and thrown him to the ground. "NOW DO YOU SEE WHY THEY CALL ME THE DESTROYER? YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO TEAM UP WITH ME TO ELIMINATE THE MUTANTS!" And Isaac had no other thing to do but team up with Rignys. Isaac moved to shake Rignys robotic hand but a splitting pain shot though his head like a lightning bolt. Isaac screamed in pain as it bounced back and forth in his head ringing like a bell, Isaac felt like someone had used a tesla tower inside his head and his head was made of metal. Isaac continued screaming and shouting and the very last thing he saw before he blacked out was Rignys rushing forwards to catch him. Isaac rushed through the abandoned city, searching for living people. Isaac's beautiful bionic arm had gone to waste crushing the face of a mutant off, and slamming it against a wall. Isaac always felt sad when he had to use his ultimate bionic arm to injure others, but if a freak with claws jumps from a building and ambushes you, what else can you do? Isaac was beginning to think this was some kind of sick, twisted test for scientists and they've knocked him unconscious and rigged him up to a mind machine, because on a normal Saturday morning a giant storm and and deadly meteor shower doesn’t often happen, and your parents and brother don't normally turn into mutants. As Isaac was hastily turning a rough bend he heard something, the sound of a bionic arm moving, so close to him. But stopped, because no one in Isaac's area has bionic arms, and bionic arms aren't that common, even in 2012. Isaac thought this was a good place to stop, catch his breath, think and trace his steps back. Isaac had been running for about two hours and was searching for food,drink,and shelter, Isaac had had stashed some food and drink so that wasn't that bad, but he had no place to camp out and sleep, and in a city full of mutants that would think twice about ripping you up and eating you shelter was vital. But Isaac's train of thought when a voice could be heard and it saidConsider Revising "SCANNING AREA FOR LIFE FORMS," Isaac almost straight away ran. But this was an army robot, it could scan a five hundred square metre area in ten seconds, and this was the right robot for scanning a mutant hazard zone. It sensed Isaac and hunted him down like a blood hound;it chased his tail for about ten seconds before it was about ten metres from Isaac. It was like the terminator in the movie The Terminator, a big human build but still clearly a robot, because on its right arm was a chain gun and its left eyes was a close up scanner, half its face was torn off and a metal framing of bones showed. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME HUMAN?" It said speaking in a slow but loud voice. "What is yours robot?" "I ASKED FIRST! ANSWER MY QUESTION OR I WILL HAVE TO REDUCE YOUR BODY TO DUST!" The robot said pushing its chain gun arm forwards to show that it would blast him into a thousand pieces. "My name is Isaac! Now you answer my question!" "MY NAME IS RIGNYS THE DESTROYER," Isaac had the most stupid thought and something must had taken over his vocal chords, because the next thing he said was, "You are a threat to me! I MUST eliminate you!" It took Isaac ten seconds to be pinned, because Isaac had thought that Rignys would be a slow predictable robot, but he was far from that. Isaac had drawn his handgun first and shot Rignys at the shoulder, but the bullet bounced off like it was made of rubber. Rignys slowly walked towards Isaac and simply picked him up by the neck and threw him to the ground. "NOW DO YOU SEE WHY THEY CALL ME THE DESTROYER? YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO TEAM UP WITH ME TO ELIMINATE THE MUTANTS!" And Isaac had no other thing to do but team up with Rignys. Isaac moved to shake Rignys robotic hand but a splitting pain shot though his head like a lightning bolt. Isaac screamed in pain as it bounced back and forth in his head ringing like a bell, Isaac felt like someone had used a tesla tower inside his head and his head was made of metal. Isaac continued screaming and shouting and the very last thing he saw before he blacked out was Rignys rushing forwards to catch him. Consider using periods instead of commas in certain parts.
I skimmed the above post and in addition to Kimber's corrections, I have one word: PRONOUNS!!! Don't just say Isaac, say he, and him. Otherwise it gets kinda distracting.
Can someone edit my proloug (if it needs editing (it probably does, but I think it might not)) A lone man in a bare, whitewashed room turned dials and pressed buttons on banks of machinery, causing chemicals to leak into small, square glass containers through various pipes. The glass cubes were lined up on a plain white table. Each cube had a smaller container attached to it by a glass cylinder, sealed in the middle. The smaller cubes each contained a rat. Aside from the table, banks of machinery, and a single metal door, the room was completely empty. The man twisted a few more dials and pressed a button. The gas in one of the cubes changed from a sickly yellow to pale green. A hint of a smile flickered across the man's lips and he wrote something on a piece of paper. He pressed a button and the sealed cylinder connecting the two containers slid open. The pale green gas leaked into the smaller cube and the rat started choking. It's pupils contracted, it began salivating, it convulsed and, finally it died. The man wrote something else on the paper and turned off the machinery. The gases evaporated. [I/] It's perfect, the man thought, walking out of the room. The door slammed and locked automatically. [I/] Maybe too perfect…
Damn, failed the codes A lone man in a bare, whitewashed room turned dials and pressed buttons on banks of machinery, causing chemicals to leak into small, square glass containers through various pipes. The glass cubes were lined up on a plain white table. Each cube had a smaller container attached to it by a glass cylinder, sealed in the middle. The smaller cubes each contained a rat. Aside from the table, banks of machinery, and a single metal door, the room was completely empty. The man twisted a few more dials and pressed a button. The gas in one of the cubes changed from a sickly yellow to pale green. A hint of a smile flickered across the man's lips and he wrote something on a piece of paper. He pressed a button and the sealed cylinder connecting the two containers slid open. The pale green gas leaked into the smaller cube and the rat started choking. It's pupils contracted, it began salivating, it convulsed and, finally it died. The man wrote something else on the paper and turned off the machinery. The gases evaporated. It's perfect, the man thought, walking out of the room. The door slammed and locked automatically. Maybe too perfect…