New Chapter today! How does this sound for the chapter? Poptarts and Corinth get a nasty visit from the Nightmare, Cheese and Benny start fighting back, Irin and Zethor finally get to sleep (DREAM-MOMENT, MAYBE?) and Admin gets really really mad.
New Found Life Early in the morning the smell of flowers and the ocean lifted itself up to anna's loft in her familys seaside estate. As she rolls over on her back to get out of bed, a glimps of the sun out her window draws her closer. "Begaining the day with a sunrise is a good way to start"thinks anna. Sudenly looking down Anna finds metalic creed wariors aproching her cottage. Quickly she reaches for her bow as They creep ever closer suddenly they Break into a run. Without thinking anna Fires an arrow into a knights neck Crumpling to the ground one knight Is halted four more continue on their sprint. Shooting off another arrow into a leg she then retreats out the backdoor just as the remaining three break in. Running faster and faster Her heart beat slows eventualy. Now walking, she looks for a shelter. Spoting a large tree and some good wood Anna smiles and says to herself out loud "well things are looking better and at lest I don't have those guys still after me." feeling two hands on her arm she knows she's in a pickle. The brutes quickly wrestled her the ground. kicking and screaming she resists but they hold her down then the smaller ties Anna up and they heave her on a horse they then the horses gallop untill they reach a large camp. The larger man puts her in a tent then leaves. Another man enters looks cruel tall well built smells like a rotting trash dump and around his mid-thirtys. "Im the torturer" he says with a evil laugh. "Now where are they?!" "Where are who" Anna replies innocently "The _____." "Who?" "The biggest treat to my lieges empire you idiot!" Smerks the torturer. "I don't know, I have never heard of them before" "They kill our warriors, they butcher his sheep AND YOU KNOW NOTHING?!" "Did I stutter" Anna calmly relpies "Guards! He screams as he leaves the tent. She hears somthing else he says before his voice fades "get me the iron maiden NOW!" Remembering that she has a knife on her side she quitely rubs the rope on it untill it snaps a guard walking in just as she got up draws his sword Anna outmatched with only a dagger grabs a torch the guard slashes out at her. Parrying with the torch and stabing with the dagger her combatent is dead. Anna silently crawls away from the sickly camp. She spys a horse that she moves toward. A brutish guard turns her way she closes her eyes and hurls her knife. "Bulls-eye hit him perfectly" she thinks "I impress myself somtimes." hurrying to the largest horse among the bunch, sadleing up, jumping on, and riding away, she rides untill a tavern is reached. Inside the tavern a man is telling a story about the country's history. Out of curiosity she sits down to listen. "Before your time Mathias united a strong group of warriors referred to now as metalic creed. He united them in the hope that they would protect the countryside, the citys, and attack neighboring kingdoms. But, not all things planned will happen as planed Cygnias killed his brother Mathias and after he convinced a majority of the creed they began building Cygnias City a few of the creed revolted however the *Setermere* was set up to destroy metalic creed and restore peace but in the battle of Cygnias Creek the rebels were routed now they rule every kingdom" *(Set•er•mere)* "Wow........." Escaped anna's mouth "But why dosnt someone try to stop them." "Some have" said the story teller "but, those who have.." Being inturupted by two brutes bursting in he quickly finished his sentance "this is what happens to those who do" crushing a loaf of bread between his hand and the table he quickly disappears. Anna tries to unsheath her dagger but it was too late the brutes were alreddy within strikking distance. She grabbes a chair and yells "bar fight" beer bottles are lanched quickly she gets to the ground as the fight worsens she sees a woman close a door a disides to follow her. As Anna opened the door a must smell escapes the cellar but her own will doesn't let the stench bother her as the fight is worse. pursuing the dark damp passage as it gets narower and the seiling gets closer she finds herself in a wine cellier thinking "I hit the jackpot" she grabbs the largest one by the wall just then the wall spins around "SWEET" Anna thinks. walking Down a spiral stair case she slows when she hears voices "we must stop the advance of the metalic creed if their not stoped we will be forced to move back across the sea." Another deeper voice much like Christopher Lee's "calm down they will be stoped." Anna had been reading lots of novels at this point a guard is right behind the person spying upon the meeting. spinning around and thrusting her dagger the guard crumples to the floor without a noise. "man I'm good" Anna thinks then just as the words escape her cherry color lips a dart flies into her neck. ***************************
Thx cheese btw got 5-6 chps still in progress:| this is finished besides the mistakes btw u read fast
New Found Life Early in the morning the smell of flowers and the ocean lifted itself up to Anna's loft in her family's seaside estate. As she rolls over on her back to get out of bed, a glimps of the sun out her window draws her closer. Beginning the day with a sunrise is a good way to start.Anna thought. Suddenly looking down Anna finds metalic creed warriors approaching her cottage. Quickly she reached for her bow. As they crept closer suddenly they broke into a run. Without thinking Anna fired an arrow into a knight's neck. Killing him instantly, several of them halted looking uneasy, while four others continued on their sprint. Shooting off another arrow into a leg she then retreated out the backdoor just as the remaining three broke in. IM STOPPING HERE please seek assistance from another editor Running faster and faster Her heart beat slows eventualy. Now walking, she looks for a shelter. Spotting a large tree and some good wood Anna smiles and says to herself out loud "well things are looking better and at lest I don't have those guys still after me." feeling two hands on her arm she knows she's in a pickle. The brutes quickly wrestled her the ground. kicking and screaming she resists but they hold her down then the smaller ties Anna up and they heave her on a horse they then the horses gallop untill they reach a large camp. The larger man puts her in a tent then leaves. Another man enters looks cruel tall well built smells like a rotting trash dump and around his mid-thirtys. "Im the torturer" he says with a evil laugh. "Now where are they?!" "Where are who" Anna replies innocently "The _____." "Who?" "The biggest treat to my lieges empire you idiot!" Smerks the torturer. "I don't know, I have never heard of them before" "They kill our warriors, they butcher his sheep AND YOU KNOW NOTHING?!" "Did I stutter" Anna calmly relpies "Guards! He screams as he leaves the tent. She hears somthing else he says before his voice fades "get me the iron maiden NOW!" Remembering that she has a knife on her side she quitely rubs the rope on it untill it snaps a guard walking in just as she got up draws his sword Anna outmatched with only a dagger grabs a torch the guard slashes out at her. Parrying with the torch and stabing with the dagger her combatent is dead. Anna silently crawls away from the sickly camp. She spys a horse that she moves toward. A brutish guard turns her way she closes her eyes and hurls her knife. "Bulls-eye hit him perfectly" she thinks "I impress myself somtimes." hurrying to the largest horse among the bunch, sadleing up, jumping on, and riding away, she rides untill a tavern is reached. Inside the tavern a man is telling a story about the country's history. Out of curiosity she sits down to listen. "Before your time Mathias united a strong group of warriors referred to now as metalic creed. He united them in the hope that they would protect the countryside, the citys, and attack neighboring kingdoms. But, not all things planned will happen as planed Cygnias killed his brother Mathias and after he convinced a majority of the creed they began building Cygnias City a few of the creed revolted however the *Setermere* was set up to destroy metalic creed and restore peace but in the battle of Cygnias Creek the rebels were routed now they rule every kingdom" *(Set•er•mere)* "Wow........." Escaped anna's mouth "But why dosnt someone try to stop them." "Some have" said the story teller "but, those who have.." Being inturupted by two brutes bursting in he quickly finished his sentance "this is what happens to those who do" crushing a loaf of bread between his hand and the table he quickly disappears. Anna tries to unsheath her dagger but it was too late the brutes were alreddy within strikking distance. She grabbes a chair and yells "bar fight" beer bottles are lanched quickly she gets to the ground as the fight worsens she sees a woman close a door a disides to follow her. As Anna opened the door a must smell escapes the cellar but her own will doesn't let the stench bother her as the fight is worse. pursuing the dark damp passage as it gets narower and the seiling gets closer she finds herself in a wine cellier thinking "I hit the jackpot" she grabbs the largest one by the wall just then the wall spins around "SWEET" Anna thinks. walking Down a spiral stair case she slows when she hears voices "we must stop the advance of the metalic creed if their not stoped we will be forced to move back across the sea." Another deeper voice much like Christopher Lee's "calm down they will be stoped." Anna had been reading lots of novels at this point a guard is right behind the person spying upon the meeting. spinning around and thrusting her dagger the guard crumples to the floor without a noise. "man I'm good" Anna thinks then just as the words escape her cherry color lips a dart flies into her neck.
several grammatical,punctuational, and spelling errors please seek the guidance of your English,literature, and spelling teachers
lol just messing with u but the first stuff was true i'd seek a grammar teacher honestly we'll work on ur spelling and punctuation
Yeah. When you mis-spell it draws the reader to double read the word. This causes the reader to lose their focus on the story making it less enjoyable.
I need some help. How would you write a descriptive form of: A pitch-black horse with a flaming mane, with fire coming from where it stands. The creature's body is covered in burning symbols. No matter how I write it, I can't get it right! Pleesh halp a cheese out
I come upon a beast standing (how ever hi u want) from the ground it's mane is as if fire spurts from his neck and it's body is covered in evil fire like symbols fire seems to radiate itself from the monsters torso
.... Ok. How about the better Version. Look back a few pages, I think a page or two back, and read my "Sneak Peek". That's what I want improved