The Bro Code

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Warry_the_Penguin, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. While the story of The Bro Code is not nearly as simple and elegant as God handing down some stone tablets to Broses, its origins weave all the way back to the dawn of humanity

    In the beginning there was no Bro Code… which was unfortunate for the world’s first Bros-Cain and Abel. Lacking an agreed-upon set of social principals, Cain killed Abel and comitted history’s first Broicide. As punishment Cain was doomed to walk the earth alone. Why? Because without a wingman, he had absolutely no chance to meet chicks.

    Centuries later a Bro from Sparta and a Bro from Troy got in a fight over a chick named Helen. I know, “Helen” doesn’t sound hot, but allegedly she had a “face that launched a thousand ships” so you can just imagine what her rack was like. The two Bros waged a terrible war over this chick-a war that could have been avoided has the Bros been familiar with the most basic Bro Code: Bros before ho’s. Troy put up a good fight, but the Spartan navy was very powerful. Soon hordes of Spartan seamen burst through the Trojan barrier, and Helen got half the gold for the next eighteen years.

    Hundreds of years later, appropriately in Philadelphia (the City of Bro Love), a little known delegate named Barnabas Stinson scrathed on pathchment what is now considered the earliest attempt to record The Bro Code. Over the years Bros have amended and added rules, but Stinson’s elegant words remain as the glorious preamble to The Bro Code.

    While the original document is housed two stories beneath sea level in an undisclosed, vacuum-sealed, bullet-proof chamber, I was able to gain access lone enough to manufacture this replica.

  2. And no female should read that 
  3. Oh no! A female! 
  4. Is this about How I met your mother? Cuz they ******* wrecked that show in the last season
  5. Respect the bro code
  6. You don't discuss the bro code amongst women, are you insane?
  7. I read it. I read all of it!
  8. Warry, how could u forget that one of the rules was to not discuss the code in the presence of women. 
  9. Rule #1. No discussing the bro code around women.

    Rule #2 bros befores hos unless its Scarlett Johanson in which case find new bros
  10. Rule 1 is bros before ho's

    Also, my bad. 
  11. I'm binge watching it until the end of season 8 then. 
  12. Totally no How I met Your Mother references. Jk, i love that show! I pictured that episode watching this.
  13. Awkward discussing bro code with you

  14. Necro bumps cause reasons
  15. It's kinda hard to deny this is still relevant tbh, even if himym is a dead meme by now