Real life talk. I am a former E-5 USA Army Sergeant who deployed in Iraq. Many details aside, durning that deployment, I lost someone, Specialist Adams. It was a devastating experience. Those NCO's here very well will understand that hell-full feeling. The lost of a brother in arms is unexplainable painful and hard to live with. Especially one under your command. That was in 2008. Then in 2013, May 8th, the 5th year anniversary of his death, his widow, broke down and committed suicide. In her note, she blamed me for her pain and death and it broke me, bad. You can ask a lot of players here from Foxes and New Age how far I fell from myself. I loved them, deeply and lost one overseas and the other took her life from that damned day. I started drinking daily, spending excessive amounts on this poison. Would go to cc and 3rd party apps drunk and ramble about the pain as well as other dark experiences. This went on for a long while. I lost my wit, lost my goals, lost myself. I can't count how many times me and SirAyden had talks of darker times and I thank him for those chats. Same goes for Aydens_Mommy, Cherry and Twicc. Then a player, Saxon, of New Age had a talk with me. He spoke harshly but honestly with me. Gave me a true kick in the teeth that I really needed. That talk and the details will remain between us, but it really woke me up. After that, I have been sober for 3 weeks, i feel my wit coming back. In game and real life, I am better now, sharper, I am me, living life for those who I lost. Cherry Twicc Aydens_Mommy SirAydenOfFozes joe_ PJenn Foxes New Age And especially, above all, Saxon. Thank you all and so many more in game and real life for being there when I reduced myself to nothing. The good me is back and back to live life to it's fullest. To Kaw, life can be harsh but beautiful too. It is on us to live it, but never feel ashamed to take a helping hand. Even the strongest person in the world needs help up. Thank you all. I also have so many others to think for just being there when I was down and not just being around when I was up. I can not express my gratitude enough to all of you. From CrashXIII and YumiMumi to Papa_Smurf and Twicc, to Alison and Towel and all of the real life friends that will not be named. Thank you all. And those in dark times, I hope this helps you see the light of life. Good life and take flight! Let us all capture that Horizon I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. life is a maze and love is a riddle.