I throw the paper on the floor in a drunken rage. "God Dammit Steven, I'm not doing it!" "What do you mean you aren't doing it?" Steven asks. "You just got back, and He's our first new guy in months. This could put us back on the map." "This asshole isn't worthy of my interviews!" I spout angrily. "Listen, Zeth." Steven says, "There are three Prostitutes in the back room, waiting for you after you finish. Now put your Clothes back on, and get in there." I sigh audibly. I know i can't refuse. I slowly put my Suit back on, strap on my Silver Crownex Watch, and strut into the room, barely noticing the strip of toilet paper stuck to my left foot. I see him, sitting expectantly waiting in his chair. Planemaster. Why the hell can't i have my own private plane? I make a mental note to put that on my list of demands. I also make a mental note to stop by the mental store to get mental ink. I sit in front of him. No information in the dossier. God damn you steven. "So, Planemaster?" I say pleasantly. "Pleased to meet you." He says, leaning forward to shake my hand. He holds a vintage coffee cup in the other hand. "So tell me a bit about yourself?" I ask. "Well, i was actually born as a plane." He says. "Wow. Like really?" I say. "Does that make you, like a... Transplanetite? Or a Robot Furry?" "I really don't like labels." He says, with a dismissive gesture. "Isn't there like a movement for that kind of stuff?" I ask, unable to leave it alone. "Let's move on." He says. "Who would win in a fight?" I ask, "Spragga, or Moose?" "Dude!" He says, "TOTALLY MOOSE! HE WOULD BE ALL LIKE RUNNING AND ****, AND HE WOULD IMPALE SPRAGGA AND IT'D BE LIKE BANG!" I cringe and wipe the flow of saliva from my face. This much saliva reminds my of my ex girlfriend. Except it wasn't on my face. "Bubbles, or Taco?" I ask him. "Bubbles are soapy objects, and tacos are food. How does this matter?" He asks, "And also, i hate tacos." I sigh and move on. "What is your favorite food?" I ask. "Bacon." He replies hastily. I am again reminded of my ex. "Coke, or Pepsi?" I ask. "You mean coca cola?" He asks me. "No..." I sniff, and slowly wipe my nose. "I mean, sure, sure." "Pepsi then." He says. "Who do you hate most in KaW?" I ask. "Spragga." He says. "NO!!!" I barely have time to yell, before the lightning bolt strikes him. I wake up in the floor later. Not one day back and my new studio is already trashed. I sigh and rise up, walking toward my office. "Oh Giiiirls!" I yell.
Either LordZeth is sleeping, he just can't be bothered or no ones getting interviewed since everyones scared of getting a bad interview.
Evilspoon. Once more, Steven had provided me with absolutely no information at all. Dammit. I walk into the room, expecting another freak, weirdo, cat, transvestite, or all of the above. What greets me is quite the opposite. He is a completely normal guy, wearing a red tee-shirt, and khakis. The only abnormal part about him is the silver spoon he clutches in his left hand. I sit, popping the top off of a can of Budweiser. "So." i say, chewing my eraser, "Evil spoon huh?" He nods ominously, raising the spoon high above his head. "Okaaay." i say. "So what do you think of KaW?" "It's players are a group of genuinely nice people, however i think the game it's self could use a bit more work." he says. I nod and continue. "What is you're favorite holiday?" i ask. "Halloween." he replies, obviously assured in his decision. "The free candy helps." I nod again, staring at the shiny silver spoon. Something about it seems... ominous. "What do you want for Christmas?" i ask. He exhales loudly, obviously thinking about it. He then answers, "A TV, so i can fall asleep in my room for once." "Plasma?" i ask. "Yep." he replies. I take another gulp of my beer, as i begin to feel a bit woozy. "If you could pick a supermodel to be, who?" i ask. "Jennifer Lawrence." he replies easily, scratching his ear with the spoon. "I wouldn't want to be one," i say, "But i would totally date Emma Stone." He nods. I once again find myself staring at the spoon. "Okay..." i say, consulting my list. "Turn down for what?" "SHUT THE HELL UP!!" he says, clutching his head. The spoon begins glowing an ugly red color. "Hey, man what's up with that creepy spoon?" i ask. It begins humming, when he gives it a mighty throw. It lodges itself in my throat. I pull on it, but it is moving, constantly crawling deeper into my esophagus. I give it a mighty yank, jerking it free of my throat, just in time to see him coming down upon me. I reach under my chair for my Pistol. I began keeping one there since a girl stole my wallet. He roars, overtaken by a sudden rage. And then i fire two shots. He falls to the ground, dead. And he shapeshifts into.... wait! He IS Jennifer Lawrence! "Steven!" i yell. "Drag the body to my room, while it's still warm!"