I walked across the room, my disturbingly empty file folder in my hand. I had expected more out of Stephen than this. My guest tonight was supposed to be the legendary Troll himself, Richard Maru. Or Rikki. He was a forums troll, warrior, connoisseur of fine fruits, and a raging wise ass. I learned all of this as I sat in front of him. He was a seemingly normal man, wearing a shirt and jeans. He hadn't touched my cart, so I liked him so far. I hoped this interview was normal. After my adventures in the underground world of Black Market Pokemon trading, I was hoping for some calm. I walk for forward and extend my had to him. "Welcome, Rikkimaru." He shakes it and replies, "Just Rikki." "Ah." I note, taking my seat. "Well, we're just going to jump right into it" I decide to throw my best at him. "If you had to choose between an ape or Donkey to ride, which would it be?" He scoffs. "An ape of course. It has more used than just a ride." "See, I'm more of an ass man myself." I reply. "Yes, but in no way is that an attractive ass." He points out, tilting his head to one side. "Well uh... Yeah. No animal fetishes here..." I laugh nervously. With my foot I tuck Winnie The Poo under the couch. He squints. "Yeah." "So, if you were in a fight with a tiger, what would you do?" I ask him. "Have my ape kill it to itty bitty bits, of course." He replies nonchalantly. He leans forward and says, "Your ass would be entirely useless for anything but switch bait though." "My ass would be too tired at that point." I let out a chuckle. I'm so funny I make myself giggle sometimes. I straighten up and ask, "Turkey or Chicken?" He concentrates for a moment, and then replies quickly, "Hard choice, since they both taste the same anyway. But I prefer a crapload of Chicken Wings over Turkey though." I try to refrain from drooling. If only the cart wasn't so far away, I would grab my chicken and devour it. I shake my head and compose myself. "Any players you greatly admire in KaW?" I say, my words slightly mushy in my mouth. He puffs his chest out, and smiles. "Does myself count?" He asks, before laughing a hearty laugh. "In all seriousness, my former clan owner sexy_n_sweet was great. She handled everything in the daily goings of the clan. There may have been rough moments, but if KaW gets more players like that, there's hope." I nod and wipe my mouth again. I can imagine the succulent chicken, the flavor of it in my mouth. Ohhhhhhh. "If you could be any cartoon character for a day, who?" I ask him, staring past him toward the cart. "Does DBZ count, cuz if so, Vegeta." He nods. "Chicke... Rhonda Rousey!" I shout, waking up from my chicken daydream. "Whoa what the heck man?" He asks. "Sorry... Just... Let's continue." I shake my head. "Last question. If moose were to engage in a fight with eagle, who would win?" It's a good question, and it brings to mind many Eagle v. Moose: Dawn of Nature trailers. He ponders it for a moment, before settling on moose. "Moose." He says. He nods. "Everyone knows Eagle won't fight, he'll just lay there and take it." "You seem sure." I say, still glancing at the cart. "What if Eagle freedoms Moose?" "Moose is Canadian." He reminds me gently. "Oh." I knew that. "I knew that." "Sure you did." He smirks. "So is that it?" "I suppose so." Just leave, just leave. I need that chicken licken... With KFC FLG sauce... "Shall I show you the door?" "No, I got it." He replies. He stands, smooths out the wrinkles on his shirt, and then sprints toward my cart. MY CART! "Hey what the hell!" I yell. He grabs it and pushes it toward the elevator. "Not today!" I yell. I draw my handgun from my hiding place, and fire toward him. He dives for cover, drawing a pitifully small gun, and returning fire toward where I was. "That's MAH food cart!" I yell. I rush around, taking cover behind a couch. "It's mine now!!!" He yells back. He fires a flurry of bullets, and it is simple bad luck that one strikes the speaker box, making it play Tay Tay. "No!" He screeches. He drops his gun and covers his ears. I take the initiative to move over him, and aim the gun. I take out my phone and select the "iSamJackson" app. "Surprise Mother******!" Sam Bellows, and I pull the trigger. "Stephen!" I yell. "We got a clean up!" "Not again!" I hear him yell back. "Are the bullets done flying?" "Yeah." I answer. I push my cart back to the couch, and grab a chicken wing, sitting down. "You have been a naughty chicken." I say slowly, as I devour them. Life, is good.
Suggestion! Maybe instead of saying what # of interview it is, maybe the name of the player interviewed.
Ive checked this thread out quite a few times but ive never been able to get some tea. This is the right place, right?
It has recently come to my attention that TeaTime has hit 50 Pages. 50. Pages. And celebrate I shall! We shall! YEAH! 50 Freakin' pages! Damn right he does. The dude knows what's up. I might even score an interview with him. Ashes brought bubies, Rikki brought chicken wings. Rihanna made a cake. It's undoubtedly Eminem cake. Hehe. I even got custom China made just for this occasion! The guns are for Damocles/Rikki Situations. Just in case. A CELEBRATION. MERICA. HELL YEAH. Well maybe that's not america, but you get the general idea. Right? Very Celebration. This is practically cause to break out the Red Bull, Bruno Mars, Viagra, and interview myself God dammit! Too much? Sorry. But I digress. TeaTime with Me, Zeth, Lord of all things that are worth being lord of, is about to get a whole lot bigger. I go.