TeaTime with Zeth

We improvised. It's my secret recipe anyway, I am not at liberty to divulge the secret ingredients. Just know that there is a felony amount of methamphetamine and love.

 

Kinky, Narwhal.

 

I straighten my tie nervously for the fourteenth time. It was quickly becoming a noose, hellbent on choking the life out of me, painfully, and with much deliberation.
A member of ATA support. Holy crap. How I landed it, I wasn't entirely sure, but I had Steven to thank partly. That and my razor sharp wit. But Steven too.
"Are you ready yet?" The voice comes from outside my door. It seems impatient. "You've been in there grunting and gasping for fifteen minutes now. It normally only takes ten."
"I'm coming out Steven." I answer finally. I slam back a Red Bull, compose myself, and strut out the door, mustering up all of my Zeth class, and draping it about my shoulders like a satin robe.
"Was the tie trying to strangle you again?" Steven asks as he hands me the file on Ruby.
"Oh shut up." I laugh. I open the file. It's empty, except for a picture of a small dog. "You being smart with me boy?"
"That's the ATA dog. Spock." He answers.
"Well may he live long and prosper." I chuckle. Steven veers off and I emerge into the interview room.
Taking my seat opposite of her, I am taken aback by the fact that she is.... Normal. Given that I often times have outlandish characters with spoon or bacon fetishes inside my studio, it was a welcomed relief. And although I had expected some god like entity, this was good. Normal I could work with.
"Ruby, is it?" I ask, putting my folder away. She nods. "Well, welcome to TeaTime with Me. Zeth. I am Zeth." I sigh inwardly. I was rambling.
"Thank you for having me." She replies.
I decide to jump right to it. "So, how does it feel to be a member of ATA support?" I inquire. "Do you like, get to take the mighty ape himself to gala's or masquerades or something?"
"No nothing like that." She laughs. "I'm a member of support, but I'm so much more and so many of us are. Many members of support have moved on to help in other areas of the company. I help out on the social committee. Are you asking how it feels to get up every day and work with amazing people and creat amazing things?"
I nod. "It feels amazing. But like anything else, it's not all rainbows and jellybeans. Through listening to each other and understanding, we get the job done, and at the end of the day, we still like each other. You don't have to like your coworkers, but when you do, you can overcome almost anything."
I nod again, and scribbled furiously on the small yellow piece of paper I called a notebook.
"And are the rumors true that KaW is actually a secret conspiracy to control our minds and turn us into an army?" I ask.
"No!" She answers somewhat indignantly, but then, "But that IS my secret plan for SMASH: World Domination. If you haven't played it, you really should, it's a lot of fun." She turned away from me, "Sorry Android, we're working on getting you smashing soon, but for now, it's limited to IOS."
"Who're you talking to?" I ask, following her gaze to a blank point on the wall.
"Err, nobody. Next question." She waves it off. I nod, slam back a Red Bull, and while gnawing on a Red Lobster Chedder Bay Biscuit, continue my interview.
"So the last guy I interviewed, Rusted_Knight_Of_Serenity, had war poodles. I can only assume that you have valiant war apes, correct?" I ask.
"We have an office dog, not an ape. His name is Spock, but I call him The Dude."
A laugh track echoes around the studio.
"Don't mind that, it goes off every time somebody makes a Big Lebowski Reference. Continue." I say. She nods.
"Apes make terrible pets, although the last time I hosted a barbecue, they cleaned up after themselves, and you wouldn't have even known they had been at my house." She laughs.
"Tidy apes. Surprising." I reply. "Now, I'm sure that members of support have KaW accounts of their own... How does it feel to play, when you also work behind the scenes."
"We have sandbox accounts, which means we play against each other to make sure it's not broken." She clarifies, "I'm sure you could imagine how upset the community would be if we all of the sudden started playing with unlimited resources."
"There would be riots. Dirty_Larry would probably lead them." I remark. She laughs.
"So, back to the main subject. What color does the almighty ape prefer his bananas? Ripe and Yellow, or Slightly Green?" I ask curiously. I want to know so as to further my Banana collection. If I could find a banana that would please the almighty ape, I might strike it rich.
She shifts in her chair. "You know, a picture is worth a thousand words, and there's a picture of our bananas on my Twitter account, and even a picture of The Dude."
As she says his name, the small dog suddenly appears in front of me, landing on the ground.
"How did, what.... Huh?" I ask. She seems unbothered by it and continues as The Dude jumps up in her lap.
I compose myself once more, and ask another question.
"So, to those that like to bash on all of your hard work, what would you have to say?"
"I wouldn't say anything." She replies. "I'd let Tay Swift say it for me, Really really loud. And then I'd start a dance party in the middle of the office, and the Dude would join in and we'd shake it off."
I laugh, then whisper someone to Steven through the earpiece. Shake it Off suddenly begins playing, quietly in the background.
She continues. "In all seriousness, I am well aware of how much you players love our game, and every time you guys get mad or complain, I think of it as a kind of misdirected passion. I love that about KaW, so many passionate players." She winks.
I nod, and slowly start moving to Tay Tay in my seat. I can't help it.
"Which would win in a fight? A Warbeast, or a Shark?" I ask.
"Shark. Specifically any of the sharks from Sharknado, or Left Shark. Left Shark beats all." She answers. As she says the word Shark, a shark lands on my food cart, crunching it up like a failed cootie catcher in third grade for Amy Johnson.
"NOOO!!!" I yell, running for my cart. I shove the shark off, and cradle the broken pieces in my arms. I'm reach into my cabinet to grab my trombone to play Taps, when Steven wheels another in.
"Always got a spare." He mutters.
"Bless your soul Balto." I yell for joy. I retake my seat. "How do you do that?"
She shrugs.
"Alright, last question. What kind of Tea Do you drink?" I ask.
"Chai. Because Chai in Hindi means Tea, so I'm drinking Tea Tea, and I think that's silly, so I drink Chai."
"You drink Tea Tea while Listening to Tay Tay?" I ask.
"No, never before no." She responds.
"Well today is your lucky day." I say. I retrieve Tea Tea from the food cart faster than Usain Bolt, and hand it to her.
"Thanks."
We drink Tay Tay late into the night, and listen to Tea Tea. After many hours of it, she mentions it is late and she must leave. That is when it happens.
The Dude grabs ahold of her ankle, and she takes a sip of Tea Tea. Then They're both gone, leaving only the faint scent of dog hair on my couch, and a packet of Tay Tay.

 

New Support Interview up.

 

A felony amount of methamphetamine.


Nah, I just have a crazy mind. Part of the Funny was actually Ruby too. She came up with the apes line.

 

It was on purpose.

 

Uh huh.

 

Thanks Kez.

 

Lol