I opened my eyes, and the first thing i saw was a piece of bacon. Thick cut, extra crispy. "The hell?" I asked. I stood up, and realized my office was surrounded with bacon. I thought back, trying to remember what happened. I walked into the room. Can anybody EVER leave my food cart alone? Armfuls of bacon. And i mean ARMFULS. She walked over, with Mount Bacon in her hands. I sat and looked at the File. Nothing. The file had absolutely god damned nothing, but a strip of bacon. "Dammit Steven!" I yelled to the Ceiling. "Umm..." She begins. "Hi?" "Oh." I say. "Hi." "Ready?" She asks. "Yup." I say. "So let's start with the question i ask everyone. What do you think of KaW?" "I like it. The player base could be better, and i had a hard time in the beggining." "Hmm." I say, scribbling a picture of an elk. "How do you feel about slayerbob?" I ask. "He's a good guy." She says, her eyes kinda dreamy. "He's my favorite mod." "Kay..." I say, having a hard time drawing the antlers on the Elk. "Coke, or Pepsi?" I ask. "Neither." She says. "I hate 'em." I sit down the pad, as the picture is impossible. It looks rather like a reeses monkey, wearing a powdered wig. I begin pulling on a thread on my pants. "So, if you eat bacon, is it technically cannibalism?" I ask. "Yes. But i don't care." She laughs, a proud baconeer. "Indeed..." I feel my chin, in an attempt to feel esteemed, and realize i need to shave. "So, anything else?" She asks. "Uh, i don't think so." I say. Then it all goes bad. I accidently pull the thread too hard, and my pants unravel. What an excellent day to wear Pink underwear, no? She squeals, i squeal, and then an armload of bacon hits me in the face. So that's how. Well, i have had worse happen. I look down at the Pink Speedo. "Ahhh, ****." I say. Princess Bacon is part of a Cannibalistic side of KaW. The Porky side. The breakfasty side. Truly.