Swan Song; My Final Goodbye, and the tears I shed

Discussion in 'Best Of' started by *Ahdragos (01), Oct 3, 2011.

  1. It has been nearly two years now, and it’s finally time to walk away from it all, despite my many previous attempts. I’ll be upfront in saying this is likely to be the longest post to ever touch the forums, and I apologise in advance. Most likely, you’ll just want to use your search function to search the page for your name and see if it applies to you, because it’s going to be a lot of names, and a lot of special mentions.

    It is with many tears and much regret that I announce my final and official retirement from KaW. It’s been a long time in the making, and I think I’m finally ready to walk away and not look back.
    There’s been a lot of bitterness to me and from me over the last 22 months, and I’d like to start by clearing the air and saying that at least in my mind, the past is the past and it’s all behind me. There is no need for me to carry a grudge towards anyone, as it’s no longer a part of my life. I hope to all I’ve had issues with a wonderful life and that they can put it past them as well.

    I’ve done a lot in this game, seen a lot, and met a lot of people. And I’m saddened to finally walk away from the memories and the people. I and many others have said before that it’s not the game play that keeps you here, it’s the people. And that definitely is the truest statement about this game.

    A lot of people will ask why I am going, or what made me quit, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter why, or what... it only matters that I am. With that being said, I’m giving my account to the best person I have met both in game and in real life; Johnnypizzo. I hope that in some small way it helps to compensate for the loss of your own account to help out the clan we made together. You’re a true leader brother.

    If I can leave any advice to KaW players it is this; play hard. Play your ass off, and do what you want. Playing complacently isn’t as fun as doing what you want. But most importantly, find yourself a good network of friends. People you can trust. Not just anyone, I mean the special kind of people you meet here who you know if you met in real life, they’d be your closest friends, and you’d remain that way for years. With that being said, I feel it’s time to give the respect due to all of those I’ve had the fortune of running across:

    Johnny my brother, it’s been a pleasure knowing you, and if there’s one thing in this game I can walk away from being grateful for, it’s the opportunity to have met you. You’re on a whole different level from the rest of the world as far as character and integrity goes, despite what people might think. You’re an amazing friend, amazing brother, and a caring clan leader. You’re an inspiration to me as my “older brother” and to the players in CR. I’ll see you soon. You know I’ll be moving nearby shortly, and from now on drinks are always on me.

    Naz and the devs team, I have **** on you guys time and again. I have torn apart all you have done, and given very little complimentary words towards your hard work. Not only did you take it, and try and use it productively, but you tried to look out for me through the many times drama has come up. For all the negativity I have thrown your way, I have a thousand more positive words I could send to you. Despite the greed a lot of people feel you have, I can truly tell in my interaction with Naz that ATA and all of you legitimately give a ****. Naz, you’ve been an AMAZING friend beyond game-related stuff. You’ve been a shoulder to cry on, and a smiling face. Some may know that recently I was silenced... for my fourth time. Knowing however that I was quitting, Naz was considerate enough to un-silence me to give me the rest of this night visiting CR for a bit of CC, before retiring in the morning. I mention this because it shows the compassion he has for his players, and shows that ATA cares for us. I’m sorry I’ve been so rough on you over the last year Naz; I’ve only been this way to keep pushing you to make the game amazing. Your effort shows. Thank you for the help and the friendship.

    Zoey, what the hell do I say? Through thick and thin you’ve been there supporting me. We’ve both made mistakes, both screwed some things up but no matter what you’ve always offered me friendship. Never will I be able to articulate how deep the gratitude I feel towards you is. It hurts deeply to walk away from you, and playing the game by your side. By far the best student of the game I have had, and one of the most... utterly indescribable personalities anyone could have. You’re a quality person, in every way. I’m sorry that I have to walk away from it all.

    My clannies Warlock, and Limbhanger... It’s not that you two don’t deserve your own separate mentions... I simply can’t think of one of you without thinking of the other. You two are a team. Always have been and always will. I’m proud of you two. You’re similar, let different enough to cover for each other’s minor weaknesses. Keep repping the CR name, and keep making me proud.

    Hildy, you’re possibly the only person I have ever seen who progressively gets worse at spelling as time passes. People might poke fun at you for it, but to be honest, it’s an accurate representation of who you are. You care little for what others think of you. You are who you are, you do what you do, and you don’t apologise for that fact. You’re proud of the man you are. And I am too. You’ve been a good a loyal friend, even when I didn’t deserve it.

    Meisha, you blow my mind at times. You’re sometimes distant, sometimes cold, but somehow always supportive. You tolerate so many blow-ups from me, and continue to just be supportive. It’s sad to say, but there’s a great deal of females in this game with less than respectable behaviour (Not that I am one to judge in any way) but you set yourself apart from the rest of them. You’re a dependable friend in every single way. I’m sorry for the hardship I have caused you, and appreciate the friendship you have given.

    Joe_ You’re a tempermental douche bag. But I respect you. You’re a decent guy with a decent heart. You try your damnedest to maintain your pride, honour and integrity. And they’re rare traits in game and out of game. We’ve had our past issues, but it’s over and done with. I wish you the very best in all you do.

    Mattecs... you knew me before I knew you. And I apparently influenced you greatly. I’m glad. You became a strong leader for your clan, a pillar of strength for them. A steady force for them to brace themselves on and I take great pride in knowing that perhaps in some small way I have contributed to that. What’s more important though, is that you’re even more solid as a friend. Thank you for the advice in life. Thank you for the trust, and the faith in me as a friend, as a person. It mattered greatly, and will never be forgotten.

    Severne and Perry... you’re terrible people. Seriously. You guys are messed up. Kindred spirits of mine. Brothers in heart, and deed. We’ve feuded and fought, but you two were brothers, through and through. Thank for you being people I could rely on, and thank you for relying upon me. In game, you had little effect on me. But in pal, you were my best of friends. You ever need someone; you know you can reach me.

    Cloverly, I still wonder how someone can be so sweet and caring. You’re nice...almost to the point of it being a flaw. ALMOST. You’re a genuinely delightful, caring person. Anyone who can say something negative about you is an idiot, and can‘t see the gem that you are.

    Crewl when Chaos split, and everyone went one of two ways, you’re the only vet who went with them and still showed respect. I appreciate it. You’ve always treated me fairly, always been a friend. When Chaos went its separate ways, we stopped talking as much, but you’ve always been part of the CR family in my mind.

    Gi_mo, you’re probably one of the most respectful people in this game. It’s an honour and a privilege to have warred against you, and with you. You’re a good guy, and a good clan mate. Trustworthy and dependable.

    You’ve always treated me fairly, and never judged me Aprily. You’re a sweetheart. You’ve got a big heart, and a great attitude. I’ve always trusted you and always will. You’ve made a friend for life.
    Dinky, you’ve got a gutter mouth. And somehow you make it charming. You don’t hold back your thoughts or feelings, and are always open about what you think, for good or bad. You’re a supportive friend, and I’m grateful to have met you.

    Aragon, you were always a stoic giant for CR. And that’s how I’ll always remember you. A man of few words, you always made the ones you shared count. You were a thoughtful and kind friend, with a strong loyalty to you. You’re a brother to me, and to Johnny, and always will be.

    Orcster, you retired long ago, but you still deserve mentioning, you were the first friend I made from ZAFT and if not for you, I would never have come to know Laoda. You were respectful, and a great warrior, a true KaW player. With your retiring from KaW the game lost a lot that day. You’re one of the few players I’ll ever respect as an equal at this game.

    Laoda, I can’t mention Orcster without mentioning you. As I said with him, I say it to you as well. You’re one of the few I consider an equal. The most noticeable trait about you is how humble you always seem. Despite leading one of the largest clans in KaW you never really developed an ego. You were respectful, and simply played the game to play it. Had fun doing it, and never let anyone interfere with what you wanted.

    -Athena- I thought for a time you were psychotic. I’d even been told that you were. But those proved lies, and I’m sorry for having misjudged you. You’re a great friend and a valuable asset to your clan. I’ll always be in touch.

    Piper, my friend.... you helped me in a lot of ways, without realising it. You’re one of the few newer players who knew me. You tracked me down, and sought to learn from me. And I am proud to have taught you some of what I know. You’re going to grow up in this game to cause a lot of ****, and I am glad. Someone has to now.

    Kortz and Prince, I am sorry to leave the game as you two start to return. You were my clan mates in CU, and were great friends, listening as I dealt with some RL issues at the time. You were the first two friends I made in KaW, and will always be my friends no matter what. Best wishes with your clan.
    Darkmessiah you give yourself too little credit, you’re a solid asset to CR, and a solid dependable friend. You were a listener, and would always be there for your friends, even at your own inconvenience.

    Galan Dracos, I don’t know how or why but somewhere along the line we became friends. You’ve offered me the utmost respect since we met, and never stopped. I was sad to see you leave when you did, and welcome you back whole-heartedly to KaW. You’re a valuable asset to KaW, and Foxes.
    Game...you are the Ying to my Yang. I hate you, yet at the same time can’t say anything negative about you.
    Pinky, you’re my sis. Always will be. You’ve cared for me, and always had my back. You don’t let anyone say anything bad about me, and it means a lot. I know I can trust you, and you know you can trust me.

    Bendangee we met during the KOTFE-CR war. You were an honourable opponent, and have turned into an honourable friend. You’ve helped me through many stages of the game since then, and always just been a supportive guy.

    Bonedancer, you’ve got a big mouth and a knack for getting into trouble. And that’s pretty ******* sweet. You’ve a trouble maker like I am, and always lived up to the Chaos spirit. I’m proud to have been in CU with you, and even more proud you came to CR with us.

    Ziludan, you’re the epitome of what it means to be CR. Strongly loyal and fierce in war, you’re a great friend, and never let me down in the slightest.
    Igiggle, our friendship fell apart a long ways back, but I owe you for the time you were my friend. You helped me maintain CR, and were a good clan member. We feuded a lot, because you were like a little brother to me. But it was mostly because we were similar in ways. Take care my friend.

    TJ/Robinhood when we first met you irritated the **** out of me. But overtime that faded, and I saw you for the legitimately good guy that you are. You were my favourite mod, and always will be. You helped keep KaW fun, and showed me a vast amount of respect.
    A special thanks goes out to all of CR. You were my friends, and my family. You warred with me, and tolerated my ********. Thank you. You’ll always be family to me, even without the game.

    To all of KaW, thank you for giving me a playground. Two years of a time-sink, and miles of entertainment. It’s appreciated. I hope I’ve left somewhat of a positive, lasting influence on the game, as the list of players above have left on me. Two years is a lot of time to turn your back on, and I have to admit, it brings a tear to my eye to let it go. If it wasn’t for the KaW forums, and the player base being as supportive as they are, I wouldn’t have ever had the courage to put up the poems I wrote, which I hadn’t shared with anyone before them. So I owe all of you for giving me a place to open up myself, and for opening up a door into writing I didn’t realise was there. I’ve had some issues with a lot of players over that time, but without all of the players in this game I wouldn’t have been where I am, done what I have, or learned about myself and others like I have. So... thank each and every one of you. I played this game as I felt it ought to be played. I’ve written a lot of posts, and caused/ participated in some of the big wars. I hope that I have left a lasting impression on the game, and on all of you.

    My last words in this game will be a small tidbit of knowledge I’ve picked up in life. Never regret. Never look backLife is meant to be lived, and experienced, not worried over, and regretted.

    -The Origin of Chaos, Ahdragos Founder of Chaos Reborn.
  2. Geeze, talk about boooorrriiinnngggg
  3. 4Q, Shut the **** up right now. Ahdragos is well known, a vet, and respected. I literally heard orchestral music while I read this. And it is not boring.

    Peace, Ahdragos.
    Good Luck in life
  4. Good bye Ahdragos Hun I didn't get to know you well on a personal note, but will miss you none the less  tale care in real life Hun
  5. 4Q you are quite ignorant...

    Ahdragos my friend. Good luck in the real world.
  6. Later Ahdy bro. Been a pleasure knowing you. 
  7. Farewell, Ahdy, my old fremeny. xD You will be remembered ;P
  8. Although I only spoke one sentence to you, I have heard you are a great player. I was wondering though, who is naz?
  9. Tl;dr

    Jk, bye ahdragos. Never met u, but you seemed awesome.

    In commemoration of this, someone should bump benny's "how to train your ahdragos"
  10. but... I hasn't finished training my ahdragos... he needs a role model :c
  11. Later ahdy because of you among the many others I wouldn't be apart of Let alone still in CR.

    You've got a way with words that will never be seen again on Kaw.

    It's been real bro.

  12. You're the only person who makes me sob like this lol embarrassing, seeing you leave hurts more than breakups lol take care and kick ass <3<3>3  love you.
  13. btw: how to train an ahdragos is in the best of section.. unable to bump.
  14. Ahdy, this is my first forum post ever. And I think you deserve the honor of being the sole focus of it. It's been a great ride, although short. I know this isn't a good bye, but rather a break in what will grow to be a strong bond. Thank you for inspiring me to play the way the game is meant to be played. If ever you do drop in from time to time, give me a little whack and notice the havoc I have caused. It'll be chaotically orchestral. I wish you all the best in your life. Keep in touch.
  15. moo, on a computer, you can post in best of.
  16. oh >.> well on a phone I can do this >:3
  17. I said it in CC but il say it here again

    ahdy whenever u are around this game is really funny and interesting. Some of the stunts u have pulled still make me laugh and uv been a great person to war alongside. And u do give good speeches u silver tongued bastard.
    Wish u all the best in ur future endevours and hope u drop by time to time and check up on us. If not on kaw atleast on pal. Take care mate.
  18. All i can say is wow....*tear*
  19. Sure sure. Thats what I said.
  20. All the best, ahdragos.
    And Goodluck