Soldier of Broken Glass FeedBack

I love leaving comments <3
Lol just kidding I like lurking on forums

 

Okay um, a comment on the story you meant... Okay let me think..... -strokes invisible beard-
Well actually Hitler wouldn't go to his house, I read his biography. Also, I think Daniel would show more hostility toward The Nazi. The maids would never rat them out if they were Jews themself

 

Now one of the most interesting things I ever read

 

You have alot of typos I'm guessing your not from America?

 

Hm, let's see what flaws I can find in your story, and pull it apart; just like you did to mine.

There are several grammar errors. Only use '?' or '!'. Not both of them together - it looks unprofessional.

You need to learn to use paragraphs. ACTUAL paragraphs, not just going to the next line.

Never EVER put 'Hi, I'm *name* and I'm *age*. Only the most talented writers could ever pull that off.

Stop trying to sound so inspirational. This is meant to be a normal persons diary, if you will. I highly doubt somebody would write like that, use that vocabulary, in their diary.

Okay, I think I'm done pulling your story to pieces, like you so happened to do to mine.

Cheerio!

 

*cough* stuck…up *cough* bi-ch *cough*

 

Actually, you did. You said something along the lines of, 'Im Adena, and I'm 17. I plan to survive the holocaust.'
I see someone doesn't know what's in their story /

 

^Nope, you started with it, pretty much.

 

THANK YOU cheese :')

Someone knows what they're talking about, at least :/