Another note: if enough people want it, when the book is finished ill post it here to read. Maybe like 2 chapters a day since posting the whole thing would be a mammoth. If only a few are interested I can figure out a way to send them the full text.
Its pretty good. Well thought and good flow. Keep it up. Only thing that irks me is the weird empire names ugh. Would have been nice if it was simpler
Preface with do not let the critics dissuade you if this is your passion. Now to put the critics hat on...Is their a plot and narrative somewhere I missed? Otherwise, you've got the appendix of an Atlas. Could be the five kingdoms of China, north Korea, Ukraine, Russia, and the shadow kingdoms of England, Belize, united states, Brazil, and Kazakhstan with the good king Putin, sorcerer Castro, dragon rider Kim il sun, empress Thatcher, dark lord Obama, antichristess Clinton, etc...I think you get the point..but you might as well copywright and post online and pay the fee to register with your writers guild. Or before my algorithym for writing fantasy on a cray vII, or IBM Watson spits it out...and the 1000 monkeys I have typing in the rec room. Anyways it was a good read when I read Steven eriksons version and tolkiens version, but with 1 million libraries in the world, crank it out, get your Dewey decimal number, and maybe some publisher will give you a cut of those obligatory sales. Lol. Good luck. Health and happiness.
I would go with a solo character plot for your first book. Being over-technical can kill a book. Brandon Sanderson is the best fantasy writer currently. Way of Kings books are an acclimation of his skills over his career. You have a Nice outline to work off of. I would make a character and his/her end goal first then work from there. The end goal should be predetermined So you have a general compass for the story to guide itself towards. I find too many aspiring authors begin with a plot but no clear goal and lose themselves and/or end up with tons of clutter/filler in their stories. Everything has to mean something. Whether it's towards the main plot or character development or a future subplot CONNECTED to the main plot.
didn't read it. but i will. honestly if you like writing just go for it. dont knownyou but im a ishing you the best man.
@TheRealDMC thanks I plan on revising this some more. I also plan on writing an entire outline of the entire book so I don't lose my way while writing. However, as outlines go, I will most likely stay away from it here and there. An outline is just a backbone too. Another thing I'm working on is a world map. Anyways thanks for the advice. A book with multiple main characters and plots is definitely hard to pull off. Maybe ill leave those types to Brandon Sanderson haha.
@deeceefee Yeah I didn't show you the plot line or any major characters in the post. This is merely an extra if you wish to call it that. I prefer to write down the information of everything I'm writing about before I begin. That way I won't forget what someone does or what a city is know for etc... I would assume that most people might have a vague idea of where the book could go from reading this. In my Reserved posts I plan on adding a list of the characters and a summary of the plot line.
Sounds cliché to me. It would be more interesting to add the element that they're now exploring the shadows.... Or that the shadows defeated the realm long ago and descended the world into darkness and slavery, and today one hero is trying to unite the people and force out the shadows.
Despite my opinion, it is your book. ... There will be times when you don't know where to go next, but that doesn't mean you have to give up.
It sounds like an interesting story, but it seems too... Generic. There wasn't really that much too special about the cities, Valtose and Mearchant pretty much seem to have combined into 1 region. Now Mortec seems like Sparta in this situation, with the most skilled warriors, it's attacking the growing Athens! I feel like Regail should be hiding something. An ancient art or something because it needs to have a reason to have literally no fights, because they're old is not a valid reason. The story itself is a little plain too. It's not really that different from something I'd write in a short. You don't really have that much going on with the plot. You have the Evil guy gets a powerful and wants to take over the world and kingdoms have to fight against him cliche, but there's no real reason behind him doing that. There needs more depth. The Shadows also aren't that much of an interesting place. It's like Mordor. A people are like, ah hell no I'm not gonna go there! Kind of place. You should make the Shadows have more influence over Kratos. As if maybe they corrupted him into doing their bidding and at the end Kratos breaks free.
Don't always have to draw it out. I don't. I just write it out on note pad that I use as reference. Then if i do have visual inspirations, I will keep it in the same folder as my land and city settings.
Thanks for the posts guys. As I said this isnt the plot line at all. Merely an extra added into the book. It describes the current situation of the Realm but it does not show the main character or plot. Maybe it's just the setup that seems generic? But I have a lot of ideas swimming in my brain for the body of the book. And just a note: the history of the Realm was written by a Valtose historian. It could be bias.
I will be posting the plot line or summary of the book later in one of my reserved posts. Maybe this will help with generating more feedback. (Hopefully ill get it out tomorrow)
Okay, so I have just posted the general theme, or plot, of the story in the 3rd post of the thread. Please note that it is a very rough plot and will be constantly revised throughout the writing process.