Seal Competitions

Discussion in 'Other KaW Discussion' started by _ZE_FireKTN_MP_, Jul 28, 2017.

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  1. What do you call a schoolbus full of white people? A Twinkie.
     
  2. Morgan freeman being the voice of spongebob in the next stupid spongebob movie.
     
  3. This is so hard to read, mate.
     
  4. Easy rig.
     
  5. This actually made me laugh :lol:
     
  6. Here goes mine:

    In the world of the Cheerios, there are 5 different kinds of cheerio you can be; Whole Grain, Plain, Strawberry, Chocolate, and Honey Nut. Each of these classes of Cheerios is higher up the social ladder than the last, respectively.

    Our Story begins with a little Whole Grain Cheerio. This little guy was a great kid, loved by friends and family all, and he was smart as heck His dream was to become a big rich Honey Nut Cheerio, since they were the best you could be.

    Cheerios are able to transcend their birth classes by paying for alteration surgery, with each class costing more and more than the last.

    Now, this Whole Grain cheerio goes through his schooling, getting the highest marks and all of the awards and scholarships you could imagine. With these scholarships, he is able to go to college for FREE, so he is able to start saving up money for the first surgery to become a Plain Cheerio. He gets a job, and by the end of his 4 year degree, he's saved up enough money for the surgery.

    Going out into the real world, finished with college and now one class higher than he was, our young Whole Grain - turned Plain Cheerio feels more confident than ever. So confident in fact, that he plucks up the courage needed to ask out a pretty young Strawberry Cheerio. At his point in his life, our Cheerio is around 24 years old. So he asks her out, and to his amazement she says yes. Things go well, and after a few years they they move in together, and he finally pops the question... Will she marry him? She says yes, but only if he can afford the cost of bringing them both to the class level of Chocolate Cheerios. Hearing this, our Cheerio Man works as hard as he can to get the money needed, taking 2 jobs and scrounging up whatever he can find. After 4 more years of this, our 31 year old cheerio finally has enough money to get his girlfriend to Chocolate status, but he can only get himself to Strawberry status. She says that she will wait as long as he needs in order to reach his goal, and that she will support him the entire way. So he continues with his jobs for another 3 whole years (the market took a crash soon after his Strawberry surgery) and finally saved up enough for the Chocolate surgery.

    They can get married! Not a year passes after the wedding before they have twins: a handsome boy and a beautiful girl. The man's main goal now is to provide a happy safe life for his kids, and, if possible, get enough money for them to become the richest of the rich; Honey Nut Cheerios. Our 42 year old cheerio raises his kids as best he can, always being there for them and helping them grow, eventually buying the Honey Nut Cheerio surgery for both when they turned 18. At this point our now 60-year-old Cheerio wants to give himself one last hurrah, and saves until he's 64 and able to buy both him and his wife to Honey Nut Cheerio-hood. After this he becomes so satisfied with his life that he just wants to relax and be happy.

    The only problem is, one day he gets extremely thirsty, so much so that he drinks all of the orange juice and apple juice from his fridge and has to go find something else to drink. He goes down the street, looking for water fountains, stores, whatever, but the water fountains all had lines at least 10 Cheerios long, the stores were overflowing onto the street, and the whatever was so jam packed that it had a line going down and around the corner of the street. Almost dying of thirst, our Cheerio finally sees a stand serving some kind of drink, and he crawls up to it, hoping they will serve him. Looking up, he saw the sign that said "Punch: 2$", and there was no punch line.
     
  7. Okay, well -

    It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

    The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

    St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

    He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

    St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and thought to himself he could really start to enjoy this job.

    "Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

    "OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
     

  8. Great_Atuin I love ya man but man that was really long :)
     
  9. @Ms Rebel, IK, I just felt like I needed all of the details or else it just wouldn't be the same xD
     
  10. Lmfao to funny I read this to my sick religious Granny and she started laughing so hard her coffee started coming out her nose :)
     
  11. Lol true true
     
  12. Wonder where everyone else is at lol. Not that many posts.
     
  13. Alrighty then.
    Time's up-
    Jokes after this post will not count. :geek:
     
  14. Idk man, I guess it's just getting kinda late for a lot of people.
     
  15. Finals -

    Charlie was having a yard sale. 
A minister bought a lawn mower 
but returned it a few days later, 
complaining that it wouldn’t run.

    “It’ll run,” said Charlie. “But you 
have to curse at it to get it started.”

    The minister was shocked. “I have not uttered a curse in 30 years.”

    “Just keep pulling on the starter rope—the words will come back to you.”
     
  16. Lets see them memes :geek:
     
  17. Puppylove - Shifter waiting for roni to call haha
     
  18. How do I post a meme? Like a picture uk...
     
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