Sapphires Battle

At least spell my name right

 

@sapphira

Obviously.

@Knight

Lol! Support!

 

Just generally, many people either use too many or too few commas in writing. You use too few. None, actually.

 

Toast is right, I didt see 1 comma.

 

Didn't*

 

Type it up all at once before posting to make it look like a real story. Chapters, dialogue, etc. would help too. Use the note app on your iPod to type it up first.

 

I didn't see any semincolons either what's wrong with u

 

Shrieked* too* again, use commas

 

David shoots sapphire again... Looks at the body, & unloads the rest of the cartridge in her face, just invade she didn't get the message.

 

Incase*

 

i before E except after C 

 

Or when sounding like ay as in neighbor and weigh.

 

in the title:
Sapphire's Battle (apostrophe)

 

The whole point of writing is accepting criticism.

 

Hey u wanted comments on it and they gave honest comments

 

Yes, and at least accept what people are trying to edit.

 

"unless it helps me with my writing skills" that's what we're DOING, di'kut -.-

 

I love criticizing people. Especially when they can't write well, like you.