hmm, you think there's room in the world for yet more zombie tales? As you're new to writing i'll be contructive here but overall i'm not keen on the story simply because you're 'up against' so many. Of course i'm not suggesting you're directly competing with anyone in particular but in the world of writing, you're always up against what's already out there right? So, you have a nice style, good descriptions and can really create tension well. I like the idea of your time shifts but found some a little confusing (that may just be the format and/or me tho)... i think you need to get some real originality in here.... skaghead abused teenagers, average joes, ex-servicemen, baseball bats, shovels etc are all very well but haven't we seen similar types in almost every zombie film/tale ever made? I've always thought zombies come over as really sh it physically so perhaps you could harness that and get your heroes, whoever they turn out to be, to abuse the zombies in one way or another rather than always splitting their heads? Perhaps get them on treadmills to power stuff, or use them as guards or something? Play games with them somehow? I dont know, but getting heroes from point x to point y for goal of z and killing xyz number of undead on the way may please some, but not me.... I hope you take my little critique in the spirit intended... you clearly have talent... good luck with the rest.... i'm keen to read on! PS... you cant burn a body with 2 cushions ;-)
Thnks a lot wonky for ur comments. However I'd like to reassure you with a small insight into the story... I have an idea of where I see this story going. The first and foremost objective of this story is to take the readers on a thrill ride. So if im keeping you in suspense, i guess im succeeding. I never thought of this story as another zombie story. Why? Because as you pointed out its been done a redone. I see this story as a suspense/thriller. I also plan on adding my own twist and turns to the zombie genre. A little peek into the future includes... 1- Proper tips that would actually be helpful in a zombie apocalypse such as hockey gloves 2- Smart zombies including hints of a zombie "society" Just keep checking in and hopefully be pleasently surprised!
Well, I don't know much about zombies but it looks like you are doing well. The only change I would have made at all was the repost of everything. Other than that it looks good.
Klassik, if this were a book, I'd definitely buy it. I DO NOT like to read books… but this caught my attention and… damn it's good story bro! Rating? / 5/6 : KaW Fan Fiction Medal.
Klassik, if this were a book, I'd definitely buy it. I DO NOT like to read books… but this caught my attention and… damn it's good story bro! Rating? / 5/6 : KaW Fan Fiction Medal.
Thanks a lot guys. I appreciate the feedback! It helps motivate me to keep writting! And yeah, Im not crazy about books but when one catches my attention I love it. So im just trying to reproduce what keeps me interested. Sorry for the spelling errors and what not! No editors! Lol
Overall a good job, however: You need to be able to describe without telling us. You are loads better but You still need yo describe the setting more. Occasionally, the flor is somewhat lacking. Try And árabe the estoy together. Alai, males You characters a litros more interesting. Right now i feel as if thetas robots blindly stumbling around without any goals. Try to gibe them mire emotion/ make them more human
Sorry my keyboard is rally mesare up. It thinks that its spanish that im writing. Ill jet back to You ejem its working again
Good points, ill try to keep working on the characters. Im really not trying to be over descriptive. I find that to many discriptions slow down the story. My focus is on the narrator. Since its his view ill try to write more on his feelings. The other characters are people he interacts with and can only suspect how they feel.
Nice story.reminds me of a movie I watched recently. Can't remember whether was it resident evil or dawn of the dead.