Salty's Guide to Kicking Ass (Redneck Translation)

Planemaster · Feb 15, 2015

-Rise_Against- said:

-WillyTheDeuce- said:

Fo' them who be hankerin' t'read this hyar beauteeeeful guide in American Redneck, here's we go!:
_____

I'll make this hyar simple an' t'th' point. Foller this hyar guide an' one day, mebbe one day, yo'll become almost as badass as salty. Emphasis on th' almost.

1.- Fo'git gold, aim fo' glo'y. Max tap is crucial, ah reckon.

2.- Eff'n yer one of them sentimental ones, jest leave this hyar thread now. No noob tears on over hyar.

3.- Check wc cornstantly, look fo' juicy targits which in o'der of impo'tance is as follers: clan ownys fum trimenjus alliances, famous osw clan loudmouths, enny farmer wannabe makin' noise. Tap'em brah.

4.- Advahtise yo'seff! Fry mah hide! Use them speakers wisely. It is prefered t'use them t'chime in in enny ongwine fight in wc. Otherwise yo' hafta use at least 3 t'grab varmints's attenshun. Use all caps sometimes. Otherwise yo' tap them fools.

5.- Varmints not t'farm: kaw_community (git real, nobody thar), mods(yo' close yo'seff some dores), noobies(come on now). Opshunal: drama queens(thread is about kickin' maio' ass not colleckin' mo'e cries) All others yo' tap on, okay?

6.- Delivah. Yo muss helter-skelter bars like crazy on these fools. Thet way they no yo' mean buziness. Yo' tapped yet?

7.- Wall them, dawgone it. Leave them links so they kin git t'yo' faster an' yo' kin also kick their butts faster. Also t'give them a piece of yer mind, cuss it all t' tarnation. Keep tappin, as enny fool kin plainly see.

8.- Don't back down, as enny fool kin plainly see. Feelin' th' heat? Thet sh'd drive yo', not stop yo'. Tappin' th' attack button sh'd he'p.

9.- Th' mo'e th' merrier. I've had all of th' trimenjus clans on me ('cept kof'e an' na*), plus a few other choomps on me. An' menny of them at th' same time. The danged-est fun I've evah had, tap away.

10.- Don't hoof it ps. It sucks th' fun outta it. ah did it an' regret it. ah c'd haf had up t'three times th' inc eff'n ah hadn't. They strip yo'? Cry me a rivah u choomp. Git on over it. Buy t'other ally (Do not, ah repeat, does not ax befo'e u buy), o' create a reset bomb (allus fun t'reset them). Keep doin' ur tap tap.

ah hope this hyar threads sheds some light on th' arts of ass kickin'. Y'all thank Mr. Saltyfeet fer the deliverance!
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-TheLastTrojan_ · Feb 15, 2015

How long did this take to write? :lol:

-CyBeR_EcLiPTiC_MaCHiNE- · Feb 15, 2015

Who else read it out loud

.... and then noticed they were still in line at Starbucks :lol:

Falling-Blade · Feb 15, 2015

Ah do declar, ah complately support dis thrayd all da way.

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Salty's Guide to Kicking Ass (Redneck Translation)

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Salty's Guide to Kicking Ass (Redneck Translation)

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