I really can't wait until the next chapter, because I want to know what happens and see what everyone's characters are like
Chapter 2 is out yes that person died at the end Ppl introduced Cheesemuffin's Samael IronHulk's Gargoth
I'm going to dissect chapter two.(Because I feel like it) I'm just going to make it general so either very bad, bad, good or very good. Beginning-Very good, the description was wonderful. I could really get the image in my head. Middle-Bad. (this is the part where the dialogue starts.) I'm guessing this is third person writing. I think it's the one where you can only hear one characters thoughts? First problem I had with it: The fact that Alyssa didn't say anything/respond when the boys ran off. I may be wrong, but from what I've read, I've gotten the feeling that Alyssa is the quiet type. But I feel she still would've said something due to the battle unfolding. If she isn't the quiet type, then you've got a major issue to fix. (Unless she's selfish and doesn't care for others, then disregard this.) Secondly, the mysterious stranger. I know the first few chapters are for developing the character personality. What I got out of it is that the two boys(sorry can't remember their names yet) are a bit too trusting to the point where it bothers me. I think they could've been a bit more suspicious. There's a battle unfolding and a mysterious person stops you. You don't know who they are, you don't even know if they are friend or enemy. I think they gave in too easily. This is my opinion of course, others might find that part pretty good. Ending-Very Good, you did very well in describing the fight. It was detailed and I couldn't find any fault with it. Overall- out of 5