Interesting plot, and beginning. However, your verbs and adjectives are boring. Try using different ones to make the word choice more interesting. You also did an excellent job of explaining at the beginning. For a first time writer on KaW, you do a great job of showing as opposed to telling. You still need to work on that a little though. You have a lot of potential P.S. I write this way on everyone's feedbacks, even Irin's. The only exception is Zaln because he's my boss on iRate and I don't wish to be fired
Oh and Wolfsbane I'm deepley sorry for what I said about the story last time have fun writing it ~ Soren
Ty sorry for insulting your family. But your brother is immature look back at this feedback thread and you'll see