Poetry [MGTD]

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dirty_LovelyDenial, May 17, 2015.

  1. Even I knew that.
    I know the ToU like
    The cover of KaW.
     
  2. Poetry is an art
    Its near and dear to my heart
    Its the flicker of a spark
    that illuminates my dark!

    Its a vanishing hope...
    but it never diminishes
    Even when Im all alone
    I can cope, through sentences!

    When Ive had a hard day
    I put the bars to the page.
    I escape all the scars and pain
    and evade barrages of blame!

    I guess Im trying to say
    This whole idea is cathartic
    move your pen & get it started
    hell, anyone can be an artist!
     
  3. Art is dead.
     
  4. I really enjoyed this. It had nice flow, but I did get stuck on the inconsistent rhyme scheme. My favorite parts were

    "even when I'm alone
    I can cope, through sentences"

    And

    "I escape all the scars and pain
    and evade barrages of blame"

    Nicely done.
     
  5. Deni, oh deni
    Cruel of heart
    And soft of soul
    She often goes
    Out for a bowl
    Of ice cream.
     
  6. Bumping best poem on thread.
     
  7. I would like to see Deni's response.
     

  8. Soft of soul. Mhm.
     
  9. Softer than slow churn ice cream
     
  10. There once was a man from Nantucket,
    Whose **** was so long he could suck it,
    He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
    If my ear was a **** I would **** it!
     
  11. Dear person from Nantucket,

    Get out.

    Thanks,
    -Narwhal
     
  12. Dear ridiculous creature,

    No. I didn't break any of the TOU and while it's more of a limerick than a poem, I happen to like it. There are many different versions and it's a classic although the author is unknown.
     
  13. Dear False King,
    Self censoring is against ToU. Narwhals are very majestic creatures, never insult them.
     
  14. My Last Mile

    So much pain,sorrow,and despair
    yet I find I've not sanctuary anywhere
    no where to go no where to hide
    not even anyone in whom to confide
    nobody in the world to care
    that I have to much pain to bare
    The only thing I feel is shame
    But I've no one to blame
    So much Love I have to share
    but no one that seems to care
    You won't see me with a smile
    As I journey my last mile
    but I hope u have a smile on your face
    Once you have ran your last race
    I'm doing myself in
    and you won't see me again
    I have no one to hug
    Just a gentle little tug
    A tug on my trigger
    And I shall not remember

    ~Mike~

    Ive spent lots of time in nursing homes visiting folks that are so lonely.it is truly a delight to see their faces light up when someone walks into the room.I sit down with a book.I talk to them and ask open ended questions to get them to open up.then I read some out of a book to them,and it really seems to put them at ease and make them happy.I ask that each of you that reads this,to please spend time with those that are lonely and show them that someone cares.some are in a tremendous amount of pain as well.Like this one girl I knew with MS.I knew her before she got it and watched it ravage her body and eventually cripple her until she couldn't move or even talk but as I walked by you could see her moving her eyes.I would sit down and read her poetry and novels.my point here is let's not be so selfish y'all. think about someone else's problems too...at least once a day.
     
  15. My Lonely Banana

    Oh yeah baby suck my banana
    can ya can ya can ya?
    o yeah baby..don't stop
    just suck it till it pops
    n swallow every last drop!

    ~mike~
     
  16. Grammatical errors everywhere, and a lot of lines are too wordy. Try taking out any unneeded words.

    "yet I find I've not sanctuary anywhere"
    Maybe instead try
    "I can't find my sanctuary anywhere"

    Little fixes like that. It makes it smoother to read and less intimidating to the eye.
     
  17. True Love

    Why can't I find a Love that's true?
    Why do I always have to be so blue?
    Why can't I find someone
    That's true to my Heart?
    Instead of Breaking it Apart...
    They come to me
    in my loneliest hour,
    only to discover, it's a love gone sour
    like the sands in an Hour Glass
    It's time to fill my glass
    I'll fill my glass full of Beer
    and let out a great big Cheer
    for I'll not be sad
    but I'll be glad
    Happy about what tommorow may bring
    I think I will shout out and sing!

    ~Mike~
     
  18. Too many letters, try something like:

    "Whi can't I fin a Luv dat tru?
    Whi do I alway haz 2 b so bloo?
    Whi can't I fin sumeone
    That's true to my Heart?
    Instid of Bricking iz Aprt...
    Dey come 2 me
    in me loneliest tiem,
    onli 2 dizco, tis luv gone soor
    liek da sand in d Hour Glass
    Tis tiem 2 fill mi glass
    I'll fill mi glass full o' Bevs
    an let oot a grate Chir
    for me ni b sad
    but me b glad
    Happy wut not yesterday bring
    me thinks me will shoot oot an sing!

    Makes it easier to read IMO.
     
  19. that looks like my three year old wrote it..lmao..me thinks me will shout out n sing...lol