Poetry [MGTD]

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dirty_LovelyDenial, May 17, 2015.

  1. Meanwhile I can't tell if this was a poem thing or a question...
     
  2. I simply must mention,
    This fruit is sublime.
    It would go swimmingly,
    With a bottle of wine.
    But I just felt a tingle run up and down my spine,
    And oh you spiked my fruit punch didn't you you traitor.
     
  3. Roses are red
    Violets are fine
    You be the six
    And I'll be the nine
     
  4. Yes I did mean epic poetry, in which case I'd have to pick The Aeneid, particularly the section describing the death of Marcellus in the parade of Roman heroes.
     
  5. Roses are red,
    Violets are red,
    Oh god everything's red!
    My eyes are bleeding!
     
  6. Roses are red,
    My face is green
    I should have read the date,
    On that can of beans.
     
  7. Looks like the thread is dead. Anyways, here is one of mine..

    Goodbye, my friend, until we meet again
    You're in my heart and in my blood forever.
    Foretold parting - no one to blame.
    Just means reunion closer than ever..
    Goodbye, my friend, without shaking hand,
    With no sadness, no furrowed brow,
    There's nothing new in death. I understand.
    But living isn't either newer now.
     
  8. It's not dead. It's a bumpable thread for anyone that would like a poem or stanza looked at, or someone who wants to talk about a piece they found.

    Right now, I'm a bit preoccupied. But I'll check the thread later and look at your poem with critiquing eyes :)
     
  9. Our generation will be known for nothing.
    Never will anybody say,
    We were the peak of mankind,
    That is wrong, the truth is
    Our generation was a failure.
    Thinking that
    We actually succeeded
    Is a waste. And we know
    Living only for money and power
    Is the way to go.
    Being loving, respectful, and kind
    Is a dumb thing to do.
    Forgetting about that time,
    Will not be easy, but we will try.
    Changing our world for the better
    Is something we never did.
    Giving up
    Was how we solved our problems.
    Working hard
    Was a joke.
    We knew that
    People thought we couldn't come back
    That might be true,
    Unless we turn things around.
    (Read from bottom to top now)
     
  10. @ Scrap
    Ha! The backwards trick is awesome! Don't like the poem much though... a lil too jumpy for my taste. But it's very creative
     
  11. Okay that is just sweet.
     
  12. I like it, except the last time. It doesn't seem it fit there, and it feels like a weak ending. I do like the inner and end rhyming though. :)
     
  13. Very neat, though there are some places backwards that don't fit right, such as "unless we turn things around, that might be true, people thought we couldn't come back, we knew that."
     
  14. I actually liked my ending. Anyways here is another one


    Lie to me tender without an end so I wouldn't wonder why.
    Build me a castle in faraway land from ivory-boned lie.
    Blind me with skillfully woven guile so I could never recall
    Who's taking my hand with an innocent smile and leading me to my fall...
    So I wouldn't know who's kissing my neck
    Whom I can hear sigh...
    Lie to me tender.. forgetting to check..
    Until you believe in your lie....
     
  15. I actually REALLY love this. Nice and steady rhyme. Nice enjambment. Nice imagery too.
    Overall nicely written. Good job :)
     
  16. Hard to write in third language. Sounds much better in my head.
     
  17. That is actually really good.
     
  18. Call me a fool,
    For falling again.
    I climb my way out,
    Just to fall right back in.
    I say that I'm done,
    But it's never the end.
    Call me the fool,
    I'm falling again.

    Call me romantic,
    I bought some roses.
    We sat and took pictures,
    In different poses,
    A window opens,
    But the door always closes,
    Call me the romantic,
    I bought her some roses.

    Call me crazy,
    But love is love.
    A child is a gift,
    Sent straight from above,
    Her heart was broken,
    Like the wings of a dove,
    Call me crazy,
    But love was love.

    Call me the bad guy,
    If that's what you need.
    It wasn't our fault,
    You have to believe.
    If you need to go,
    I'll set you free.
    Call me the bad guy,
    If that's what you need.

    Call me lonely,
    That's what I've become.
    I spend my time in a haze
    Familiar with kingdom come.
    Three isn't always the sum,
    Of one plus one.
    Call me lonely.
    It's what I've become.

    Call me a survivor,
    I cleaned myself up.
    I can't keep on going,
    Constantly drunk.
    Life isn't always easy,
    But it's better to trust.
    Call me a survivor,
    I cleaned my life up.

    Call me a fool,
    I'm falling again.
    Her smile is so pretty,
    So innocent and prim.
    I have another chance,
    I can't do this one in.
    Call me a fool.
    I've fallen again.
     
  19. I think that's my favorite part