iRate Official Review [/size Operation: Interception By: German_idiot Genre: Realistic Fiction/Sci Fi Rating: This is an excellent story with plenty of setting description, and verb difference. It is well organized and for the most part flows smoothly. However, the changes from scene to scene tend to be too abrupt and needs more transition from one scene to the next to make it less confusing. The emotional chord is also somewhat lacking, it's had to connect to the character. One example of this would be the character Bastion. When Bastion turned out to be a traitor, the reader didn't really feel sad. You didn't really give him enough "screen time" to let us feel the loss. Maybe you can include some flashbacks or something so we can really feel his absence. Being a guy though, the lack of emotional chord is understandable, but not necessarily a good thing. Try to let the reader connect with the characters more. Overall great job, other than those minor issues, it is an excellent piece of writing! Keep up the good work!
iRate Official Review Operation: Interception By: German_idiot Genre: Realistic Fiction/Sci Fi Rating: This is an excellent story with plenty of setting description, and verb difference. It is well organized and for the most part flows smoothly. However, the changes from scene to scene tend to be too abrupt and needs more transition from one scene to the next to make it less confusing. The emotional chord is also somewhat lacking, it's had to connect to the character. One example of this would be the character Bastion. When Bastion turned out to be a traitor, the reader didn't really feel sad. You didn't really give him enough "screen time" to let us feel the loss. Maybe you can include some flashbacks or something so we can really feel his absence. Being a guy though, the lack of emotional chord is understandable, but not necessarily a good thing. Try to let the reader connect with the characters more. Overall great job, other than those minor issues, it is an excellent piece of writing! Keep up the good work!
Crayz's unofficial, short n' sweet rating operation interception German_idiot