New story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by xXxRPL_I_AngusEmpire_l_RPLxXx, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. Oops! im such an idiot!
     
  2. Lol it's ok. It's still a good character.
     
  3. Thanks
     
  4. Chapt 2 finding amber
    ethan a 16 yr olf boy was searching for footprints when he found them

    He was in the forest not far from the same postion where amber his little sister had been caught he remember the wailing that he now missed but today he had found traces of them. This time Ethan had a weapon that he had trained with , a scimiter

    "Argh!",Ethan shouted soldiors jumped out on both sides of him and lunged getting him offgaurd with the spears but only managed a cut to his arm. He attacked cutting two feet of wood of the spear. The men fled leaving amber by herself. I rushed over. She asked who I was and I said ethan She jumped on me filled with tears When more soldiors came at us this time they were armed with swords and shields,the mail armour was of great make and the helmet looked rock solid I had no chance but to surrender because I did not want to risk amber getting hurt

    yodude that's the part of ur chapt.


    I'm planning to make them unite. Later
     
  5. YAY!!! U used my character!!! Suspenceful chp by the way!!
     
  6. Nice chapter. Are you gonna use my character though?
     
  7. Chapt3. "FOLLOW!" shouted the main soldior of the company
    me and amber where running trying to keep up with the men who where rushing to get the reward

    Our gaurd dropped and a rock flew off him he was uncouncious. We had our chance and we took it we ran. But did not go to far because they noticed that our gaurd had fell and told the way we ran

    "up here quick" hissed a voice in the tree
    he ran up the tree it was hard work where we where met my a girl by the name Paris. She was a girl that you would mistake as a city type with her looks and another girl called pory who was reloading her crossbow with a bolt that she dripped in a flask. It looked like it was poisened. "At least we where safe
    up here",me and amber wispered in unison
     
  8. Lol short storys r realy easy to write
     
  9. Yay!!! My characters r in all the actiony parts!!!
     
  10. Dude but I'm gonna write one on me.

    Finding a person called John and we escape into the forest jus trying to work how to do it
     
  11. I'm looking forward to the next chp! Although there r some grammar and spelling mistakes. U probably didn't revise it tho. All in all it's shaping up to be a good story!
     
  12. Name:Matthias
    Weapon:6ft long spear
    Age:26
    Bio:Was born to a weathly family as the youngest of five. Almost from the start he was interested in fighting hitting his older sister with a club when he was six. So his father started teaching him to fight. He didn't like swords or axes but when he saw a spear he knew that he would become a master of it.
    Side:good
     
  13. "Get out of bed John and go get milk from the cows!",shouted johns mum

    he crawled out under his covers quick where nothing more than threads

    As his bucktet he heard someone shout. "John make a run for it". It sounded like angus but he was away on a hunting trip but I ran I jumped over the wooden fence picking out a 4cm splinter sticking out from his shoulder
    "angus is that you?"John asked the boy
    "yes, we need to get away, the soldiors(the forest ones) ate coming today and are collecting slaves"angus said"so I decided we shoupd run to the forest John"
    "we will need food angus and shelter"john said
    angus jumped up from his hinding spot and battered down the front door of the closest house

    I gonna continue but going out
     
  14. Ιt was good, but it had spelling errors and was kinda confusing. Good tho!
     
  15. Yeah I think u need to make it clearer who's talking
     
  16. But it's still good
     
  17. It was a little confusing at times, but it's really good!
     
  18. Wat about me??