One tiny thing: I'm a little confused on the boy's age. It says boy, which makes me think young. Then it say masculine vioce, which makes me think teenager or older. Than white hair makes me think really old. I've never seen Soul Eater (though I've meant to) and I don't know if that would help clear up the confusion, but as a new reader it was a bit vague. But other than that it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It had very vivid vocabulary!!!!! I loved it!!!
Noetic, this is... This is... THIS IS LIKE AWESOME SAUCE! *calms down* I <}3 Soul Eater! But I must but negatives. . You need to use punctuation. If I were a Language Arts teacher (I don't get why all L.A teachers are short, blond headed, mean, but funny O,o!!) My eyes would be bugging out of my head from lack of Punctuation and Capitalization. :0 ~TigerClaw
Maybe try rewriting the sentence about the hallway pictures so its short simple and to the point? The first sentence, you should try stated the weary old maid or something along those lines but it is nicely written
Very good, I like it, almost like I'm a reading a book , (That's a good thing BTW I like to read very much) Do continue!
That's really really good, if you added more feeling to it and didn't rush quite as much and capture the feeling of the moment, it would be, by far the best 'book' I've ever read!
Wow, Noe!!! This is really really good and detailed! And adding some verbal vulgarity adds some suspense/meaning to the whole thing, which makes it fit together perfectly. DD
ღ Aha, I've seen you around. I don't think I remember which threads you made though. xD But thanks bunches. <3 ღ