Noetic, this is... This is... THIS IS LIKE AWESOME SAUCE! *calms down* I <}3 Soul Eater! But I must but negatives. . You need to use punctuation. If I were a Language Arts teacher (I don't get why all L.A teachers are short, blond headed, mean, but funny O,o!!) My eyes would be bugging out of my head from lack of Punctuation and Capitalization. :0 ~TigerClaw
Maybe try rewriting the sentence about the hallway pictures so its short simple and to the point? The first sentence, you should try stated the weary old maid or something along those lines but it is nicely written
Very good, I like it, almost like I'm a reading a book , (That's a good thing BTW I like to read very much) Do continue!
That's really really good, if you added more feeling to it and didn't rush quite as much and capture the feeling of the moment, it would be, by far the best 'book' I've ever read!
Wow, Noe!!! This is really really good and detailed! And adding some verbal vulgarity adds some suspense/meaning to the whole thing, which makes it fit together perfectly. DD
ღ Aha, I've seen you around. I don't think I remember which threads you made though. xD But thanks bunches. <3 ღ
Now I'm starting to feel like a lower-level writer :| Looks like it's time for someone to take my place D: Lol, jk. You're certainly a helluva lot better at writing than I am, but my tendency to easily feel inferior will not make me leave! I just wish more people would post feedback on Revolution... HINT HINT