I'll just edit it all. Pardon me for thinking readers understood the subliminal message that the ground tilting forward was a newb rising from the edge of the spring where Featherus and Winter were at and the sound of the sword being put in it's sheath was the newb putting his sword in it's sheath. Stora, as I said two pages back they're merely stepping stones. Like I said, it's all going to be edited. @Cheese, the focal point of our stories is... You know... But everything else is individual right?
^Yeah. Gonna upload the next chapter soon. I'm not one for editing, considering I can't log in to the PC because I don't have [social network].
That's good. But even if they're stepping stones I think all characters should be given sufficient introduction.
CHEESE! USE MOCHIGAMES! You don't have to have [social network]. Sufficient introduction? Whig characters do you think didn't have sufficient introduction? I know Benny didn't. I think I did a semi-okay job with Ahdragos. Any others?
1) OMGoodness. Did you really just steal my Forums idea? Lol, I'm gonna be doing some serious foreshadowing on the Forums! I really liked it! 2) Spoiler Alert: I'll be using my Famous KaWers - Famous for what? thread to pick people for the Thinkers and another, more disunited, sinister archetype symposium. 3) I think you had a lot more detail in the Forums section of your version, Cheese, than any other. Usually my strongest attribute is description, while my weakest is emotion. Now it seems that I'm struggling with Writer's Rush.
Your newest chapter cheese was pretty good. I can't really find anything to correct lol Just a suggestion, more of a personal preference: Try to make the characters a bit more relatable. The only part I would say that didn't have this a bit was where smighter suddenly says something about a mod coming. Maybe you could've added a human-like action that symbolized that smighter realized the mod was coming before he said that. And a bit of description at the end wouldn't be bad, like if it was dark and dim or well lighted. this stuff isn't too important and your chapter is still good without it.
^As I don't edit at all, ever, I'll make sure to make those subtle changes Just, I meant it to seem like Smighter was being completely serious, and had no time to make a gesture or react.