LoKaW Feedback - Both Versions

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by cheesemuffin, Dec 27, 2011.

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  1. Smighter. There is a sequel.
    In fact, I'm writing the signal in about half an hour
     
    #421 cheesemuffin, Sep 21, 2012
  2. I'm late but I finally finished reading it. Pretty good cheese, maybe a little lacking in flow? Idk i think it's missing something but I can't quite put a finger on it. Anyway great job!
     
    #422 Storallelite, Sep 22, 2012
  3. I love how cheese shows the mods. =P
     
    #423 -DaveStrider-, Sep 22, 2012
  4. Lol
     
    #424 Eagleking, Sep 22, 2012
  5. If you do it right, people won't know what you did wrong. So, Stora... I'm gonna go ahead and assume I did nothing wrong, okay?
     
    #425 cheesemuffin, Sep 22, 2012
  6. Lol ok
     
    #426 Storallelite, Sep 22, 2012
  7. I've been so busy lately, I've only just begun writing again... I wonder how interesting the story would become if Feather was secretly schizophrenic..
     
    #427 FeatherHunter, Sep 23, 2012
  8. You don't just... Say what you're adding!
    You have to reveal it once its been put in!
     
    #428 cheesemuffin, Sep 24, 2012
  9. Oh... Well I'm not sure how I would incorporate that into the story anyway, so..
     
    #429 FeatherHunter, Sep 24, 2012
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