A 38 year old man had been having excruciating headaches for twenty years. He finally went to the doctors and they told him that his ballsack was too tight for his balls. The only way to fix this was castration. The man went under the knife and funnily enough the headaches stopped. But he felt a little feminine. So he went to get a suit tailored, what's more manly than a suit after all? He walks into the tailors and says, a suit please! The tailor looks at him and jots down his sizes. The man says "how did you know all that?" "I've been in the business60 years, this is second nature to me," The man, keen to beat the tailor says "my underwear size has been a 37 since I was 18, it can't be 39, that's too loose." The barber, confused says "but wearing size 37, that would cause a tightness in your spine which would send up shockwaves and give you an excruciating headaches"
Superman is bored ....but very "frisky" (amorous), so he flies over the beach to see if there's any babes hanging out. He sees Wonderwoman eyes closed, suntanning, lying butt ass nekkid spread eagle on the beach. He thinks to himself, "I'm faster then a speeding bullet I can go down there, hit it, fly off and she won't know what happened. He decides to do it. ...."WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAAM" and he flies off. Wonderwoman opens her eyes and asks "What the hell was that?" The Invisible man says "I don't know but my butt sure does hurt now?!?"
A woman with no arms or legs is sitting on the beach crying. A man walks by and asks her why she is crying. She replies that she is already 35 and never been screwed. The sympathetic man picks her up and tosses her in the ocean. He yells you're screwed now.