LET ME GO

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *hulkzord (01), Oct 22, 2012.

  1. messed up again
     
  2. As I have my hands in they're cold metal cuffs my feet been scraped on the stone floor as my feet bleed from my scrapes I then let out a hiss of my pain I asked them "why Im here?" they just replied "cause you ran if with stolen food from different families." I cry for where I have to go they then threw me in the cell but a olive colored old skeleton with cold metal shackles I then look at it and gasped to see what they did to him I saw the marks from razor blades when he died probably a man scraped the bones to get nothing but pleasure I then was lonely until I saw the princess with a pink and whit dress with braids on her hair and I then saw my shirt was now small as I saw a dagger I then cut small holes to get it a little comfortable but I won't get out the skeleton made me braver but I won't be let go
     
  3. In that ENTIRE POST, there was ONE period. Also,

    They're - they are
    Their - BELONGING TO THEM
    There - AT A PLACE

    And in addition to that, keep the tense the same. Don't go straight from 'I am' to 'I did.' You are not a time traveler.
     
  4. My mom told me to do it
     
  5. Not an excuse.
     
  6. if I told her no I would be smacked all the way to Texas
     
  7. Ill fix it tonight I can't right now
     
  8. Bumped. Because I think op is insane.
     
  9. Dear G-d, bumper. If I found you I would personally strangle you... Motherfucker!
     
  10. Haters, maybe guys story isn't perfect, but if don't like it, write your own story!! XD It's fun, and there few of them.
     
  11. So, we're haters for trying to help OP fix his grammar?


    Also, I don't like it, and I HAVE written my own. Several, in fact. Have you?
     
  12. yes she has and its great
     
  13. wait lets turn this into a talkshow if y'all wanna give it a shot let me know
     
  14. It was worth a shot
     
  15. here 2 choices
    1.a lounge or bar or coffee place
    2.we figure out something to turn this trash into something great
     
  16. Cheesemuffin sorry to offend you ^-^ I meant it as a friendly suggestion, because it was irritating to watch a huge argument play out at the top of the list.. Do you know what page your stories are on?? I hear they are pretty good.
    And thanks Hulkzord ^o^
     
  17. Forgiven. My stories.... I think they're on page 5 . They're old.