Absolutely fantastic feather! I'm incredibly impressed. I can't give enough praise. The beginning is phenomenal. Two things: 1.) since this is third person limited, it would be cool if there was a location/time next to each lapse at the beginning and throughout- kind of like what you would see in catch 22. 2.) how does feather remember that his memory has been tampered with if every night at midnight, it gets reconfigured. Perhaps you could do something memento-Esque after tigres tells him where he keeps something on his person to remind him each time he "awakens" from his state of memory loss. Perhaps a note written in the cloth he always keeps with him when he goes to wipe away the nosebleed? Like the "John G killed my wife" tattoo in memento. Otherwise- you really have a talent . Don't ever let it go to waste.
Thank you so much belle! I'm having fun writing about your character at the moment. Suggestion One - Not sure what you mean. You mean every flashback? I've never seen or read (if it's a book) catch 22. Sorry. Ah, belle! Have you forgotten, Feather did indeed write it down? I can't reveal when he will find that information, or if the memory wiping will stop. Maybe he won't ever find the bag and live like the rest of The Targets, in a sort of coma-like memory state. That's for me to know and you all to ponder!