Legend of KaW - Feather's Version (Feedback)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FeatherHunter, May 26, 2012.

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  1. Feather's complete lack of suspicion could be due to the fact that somewhere, deep down, he recognises Stora as someone he trusts?

    And the same could be said of Stora, as she seemed to be ready to freely touch Feather even though they had "just met".


    Probably.
     
    #101 Winters, Jun 4, 2012
  2. Hmmmm. I love speculation. It makes me  when readers try and figure out what happens next or reasoning behind a specific characters actions.

    I like yours in particular Winters...
     
    #102 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
  3. Maybe it's some sort of romance?
     
    #103 Eagleking, Jun 4, 2012
  4. … Eagle...
     
    #104 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  5. I'm not sure about complete lack of suspicion, because it bothered him that Stora tortured Pimella on his chair. Or maybe that was just the fact that it was his chair...
     
    #105 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  6. I like romance... :(
     
    #106 Eagleking, Jun 4, 2012
  7. Yeah, I'm aware. Just... No.
     
    #107 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  8. Maybe it was a really nice chair?
     
    #108 Eagleking, Jun 4, 2012
  9. Feather! Come out and clarify for us how nice the chair was. :|
     
    #109 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  10. The chair was obviously nice. Feather's residence was nice. Nobody likes a nice house but ratchet furniture lol.

    Anyway, we'll be introduce to another character in part three of Chapter One. This character is the reason why I named Chapter One remembering a body.
     
    #110 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
  11. You go from third person, to:

    And then back to:

     
    #111 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  12. Pretend that I remembered to put a space after the bbcode...
     
    #112 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  13.  I did?
     
    #113 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
  14. Yeah. It's the part after Stora saddling the horses. 
     
    #114 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  15. Ponies <3
     
    #115 Eagleking, Jun 4, 2012
  16. :( Sorry.
     
    #116 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
  17. It's just me being nitpicky.

    Otherwise, like I said. I like it.
     
    #117 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  18. Thanks so much :)
     
    #118 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
  19. :D Np. Waiting for more :3
     
    #119 iNTeR_Candidus_MaSS, Jun 4, 2012
  20. I hate my clan. I specifically dislike xmind and bb-gun. And blue-killer, our newest member. Bb-gun has been out to get me and finally got me. *****. She got blue-killer to farm me and xmind to strip my admin. *****.
     
    #120 FeatherHunter, Jun 4, 2012
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