Legend of KaW - Feather's Version (Feedback)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by FeatherHunter, May 26, 2012.

  1. Feather's complete lack of suspicion could be due to the fact that somewhere, deep down, he recognises Stora as someone he trusts?

    And the same could be said of Stora, as she seemed to be ready to freely touch Feather even though they had "just met".


    Probably.
     
  2. Hmmmm. I love speculation. It makes me  when readers try and figure out what happens next or reasoning behind a specific characters actions.

    I like yours in particular Winters...
     
  3. Maybe it's some sort of romance?
     
  4. I'm not sure about complete lack of suspicion, because it bothered him that Stora tortured Pimella on his chair. Or maybe that was just the fact that it was his chair...
     
  5. I like romance... :(
     
  6. Yeah, I'm aware. Just... No.
     
  7. Maybe it was a really nice chair?
     
  8. Feather! Come out and clarify for us how nice the chair was. :|
     
  9. The chair was obviously nice. Feather's residence was nice. Nobody likes a nice house but ratchet furniture lol.

    Anyway, we'll be introduce to another character in part three of Chapter One. This character is the reason why I named Chapter One remembering a body.
     
  10. You go from third person, to:

    And then back to:

     
  11. Pretend that I remembered to put a space after the bbcode...
     
  12. Yeah. It's the part after Stora saddling the horses. 
     
  13. It's just me being nitpicky.

    Otherwise, like I said. I like it.
     
  14. Thanks so much :)
     
  15. :D Np. Waiting for more :3
     
  16. I hate my clan. I specifically dislike xmind and bb-gun. And blue-killer, our newest member. Bb-gun has been out to get me and finally got me. *****. She got blue-killer to farm me and xmind to strip my admin. *****.