I'm going to leave out a lot of the details for the sake of not dragging this on longer than it needs to be. Not sure if this will get removed but oh well. A few weeks ago I posted something in world chat that I've never said before. "I think I'm actually going to kill myself". It wasn't a cry for help, it was exactly what I said. That night I ended up at my friends house after they asked me to come over. They told me I was acting weird and they took me to the emergency room. The emergency room transferred me to an in-patient psychiatric facility run by the county. They kept me for four days, keeping me under surveillance and doing medical checks every couple of hours. Those were the worst four days of my life. I didn't eat and I could only sleep because they medicated me. I was paranoid they would keep me forever. I would vomit and pass out and cry. Once I finally got the courage to leave my bed I made a couple of friends and the hospital turned me loose since I didn't give them my insurance info and they couldn't charge me. They diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder Type II. I do not believe in God. But last Saturday something happened that was no short of a religious experience. I guess my medication started kicking in. What happened isn't particularly important out of context. But I just want to tell everyone for the first time I can ever remember I had 3 days where I did not have any anxiety. I was so happy I couldn't stop crying. I felt like I could breath for the first time, everything feels new again. It felt better than any fight I've ever started, better than any time I've hurt myself, better than any person I have manipulated, better than any drug I could take. I'm 19, I know most of the players are younger than me. Over the 5 years I've played I've seen a lot of people say things like I did, whether it was on forums, WC, walls, whatever. You've all heard it before but asking for help isn't bad. It might seem hard but you will be surprised at how understanding the world is. It's also really scary. I urge anyone out there who thinks they need help to reach out. Don't wait. I feel a lot better. I don't know how long this will last, but I wish I could share it with everyone out there. I'm going to out patient care, attending NA meetings, and am pursuing things I love. This game used to be a way for me to vent as you can see by my post count. I've met so many wonderful people on this game. I love you all and I want everyone out there to be the best they can be. Take it easy, I'm happy and It's time to leave this behind. You won't find resolve in an MMORPG, get professional help. To the rest of you, don't waste as much time on this game as I did bye guys. I had a weirdly good time.
Best of luck sounds like you have your own demons to fight and with the help you're getting you can win. Somethings are bigger than kaw. Although I'm not at the stage to accept that yet.
Good for you. It takes a lot of bravery to face your demons. It takes even more to beat them. Life is such a precious thing. We have only one chance and it's important we make the best of it. It's important we take advantage of the greatness and beauty it has to offer. Strive to make it better not only for yourself but for the others around you. We will always be faced with adversity and hardship. Just remember, it's not about how many times we get knocked down or by whom is knocking us down. It's about how we get up and strive to improve. It's your life and you have one chance, make it great!
I've been in a similar situation recently it its great that you were able to do what I can't, get help. Goodluck, I wish all the best for you out in the real world
Good for you. Seriously. I have Social Anxiety Disorder and the best thing I can tell anyone who suffers from depression and anxiety is to really just go and talk to someone. I thought i could endure my anxiety alone but i was wrong. Don't let yourself suffer. Talk to someone. It will change your life for the better.
You should become a motivational speaker, travel through the world, and inspire others while profiting off entrance fees.