SECOND ENTRY How do you get ONE baby into a bath? Place it in. How do you get 3 babies in a bath? Squeeze them in tightly. How do you get 50 babies in a bath? Use a blender. How do you get the babies out of the bath? Doritos. #joke
THIRD ENTRY A woman has identical twin sons, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, and he is named 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.'' #joke
FOURTH ENTRY (This is very long, but totally worth the read!) :lol: So there once was this bee that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary bee though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit bee community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the bee enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart bee. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the bee gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean’s list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the bee faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the bee decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the bee’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the bee looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn’t been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there’s no punch line! #joke
Two condoms are walking down the street and they pass a gay bar so the one condom says to the other "hey you want to go in and get **** faced!!" Its a joke dont get mad its not ment to affend anyone #joke
A man was sleeping at a dads house with 2 other guys. The dad said to the first man, "You can go sleep with the pigs" The dad said to the 2nd man" Go sleep with the chickens" The dad was then asked by the 3rd man if he could sleep with his 18 daughters. The dad said yes. During breakfast the next morning the 1st man said "Man, I feel like a pig because of all those pigs" 2nd man said "I feel like a chicken because all the chickens I slept with." " 3rd man said "I feel like a golfer because I had my balls in 18 holes."
A teacher asks her class,"Whoever can answer my next question will be permitted to leave school early." A boy then picks up his backpack and throws it out the window. The teacher asks,"Who threw that book-bag?!?" The boy says,"I did." He then stands up and walks out of the classroom.
Entry dos. This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said.... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. #joke