Once upon a time, there was a magnificent dinosaur named Bastion. He roamed the lands of Chalupa with great valiance. Due to his humility, he was not very well known, and few possessed the realization of his power. One day, in the middle of August, he came across an old man named Zeek. Zeek looked horrific. His face was charred and his days seemed numbered. Compassion overwhelmed Bastion, so he asked what happened. Zeek explained to Bastion with a look of terror in his eyes the event that took place a couple days before. The evil dinosaur Hanjangasaurus had rampaged into Zeek's village and ate Zeek's children. Zeek hit Hanjangasaurus' toe with a banjo, and in result, Hanjangasaurus belched fire out into Zeek's face. Bastion was infuriated with the fact a dinosaur would be so heartless toward an elderly human. He told Zeek he would help him and set out on a trek to defeat the malicious Hanjangasaurus. He knew most rebellious dinosaurs lived in Hollywood, so he decided to head there. Little did Bastion know, Hanjangasaurus' pet ninja meerkats overheard the conversation between Zeek and Bastion. They told Hanjangasaurus about this, and he told them to summon the beast. They giggled delightfully while they went out to get it. What an awful creature the beast was. The meerkats shuddered in pleasure as they told it who to find and let it off it's leash. Meanwhile, Bastion was heading to Hollywood. He frolicked his way through South Dakota, Colorado, and was currently in Nevada. He was marveling the shiny lights in Las Vegas when he encountered the beast. "RAWRRRR" the beast roared, "MAH NAME IS JOE!!!!" "No time for talking," Bastion said as he drew a machete and charged toward Joe. Joe started doing crazy karate moves while they battled fiercely. Eventually, Bastion went for a nut shot, and killed the beast. He took his wallet and continued toward Hollywood. A day later, Bastion arrived there. He asked a local where the dinosaurs here lived, and they pointed to a dark and eery castle. So he started walking there when all of a sudden someone jumped in front of him! "Ahhhhhhhh! I am Ahnold Schwarzenegger!!" he exclaimed, while ripping off his shirt. Bastion shanked him with the machete and continued. He finally was at Hanjangasaurus' castle. The meerkats had seen what Bastion had done to Arnold and the beast and cowardly let him go through to Hanjangasaurus' room. He was proud of his two victories already, so strolled carelessly into the room. Bastion fell hundreds of feet into a dungeon. The meerkats had tricked him! Bastion was smart though. One of the female meerkats was on guard duty, so he seduced her into giving him the way out and a couple dozen grenades. He planted the grenades and ran out. The castle exploded and confetti fell everywhere. The world was finally a wonderful place. THE END.
damn bastion ill make sure not to get you mad at me or my nuts will pay for it great story klzeeky <3 made me laugh