Wow, Alex, just read your story! Excellent! XD That was very cool, with the journal breaks and everything! I really look forward to seeing what happens next! Nice job!
New chapter up tell me what you think im trying to get to the point and plot of the story but there is just so mutch to explain
Hey Bastion... U forgot me :cry: Any way heres my story beginning/random scene... Idt that ill be making a thread for this but any constructive critisim and title ideas would be nice Ter’iol and Azdin. The only dark spaces in existence, the last haven for my kind, against those that would do us harm. We are the last, the only on this land. No, I would not say God forsaken, for it is the gods of others who have given them their victories over our dwindling race. In all the histories of various lands they rarely tell the story of the dark and powerful. Those who practice in the dark arts, forsaken by all. ************************************************************************** Chapter One She spun, her twin swords slashing and biting at the metal and flesh of her enemies. Their armor, years of magical studies and decades of crafting, was no match for her skill and weapons. “They may just bury me by numbers,” she thought grimly, her pale face set in a feral grimace. The knight’s face was blocked by a golden helmet set with Sisdiel, the holy metal of the Shnedae, but she could tell he was frustrated as she. She attempted a stab through yet another chest plate, but the armored man jumped out of the way. Unfortunately for him, the quick move put him off balance in his bulky armor, and as he scrambled, she put her knife through his heart and prepared for the next wave. The last of the soldiers stood grimly at the other side of the torn up room, glinting in the faint light coming through the windows on the ivory walls. In the center of the mob of soldiers stood Kain Vayz, illegitimate son of Gandr Fenx, the master of this castle, the one who put the curse on the girl. The boy was a hafling, son of Gandr, a lord of the Wawoal, and an enchantress of the Syndicate of Nymnid, one of the most powerful branches of the darkness population. He didn’t look it however with golden hair that glowed in the sunlight and sparkling blue eyes. He looked like a powerful Wawoal. “Well are you going to attack me or just stand there and stare?” She said with a cold smirk. “You know you could let me go, I am just a girl after all, and a lady. Isn’t your kind supposed to help us? Somehow I don’t think that slicing me up fits under that category.” “Ah I believe you are still under the impression that I consider you a human being. You may be female, but you are a soulless monster who kills just to amuse herself.” She winced at that one. She was no monster, and she took no pleasure out of hurting people. It stung especially to hear that coming out of his mouth, he who would enjoy watching her die a terrible death even though she had done nothing to him. “Funny thing for you to say… hafling.” Now it was his turn to wince. The soldiers looked at him in surprise. “It wasn’t common knowledge?” She called to him “Interesting.” “Just kill her.” He snarled at his men. They charged, swords swinging back and forth, what discernable features in their helms thick with rage. He watched with a cold stare as one by one, she cut down his men. “Ooh no more men to hide behind. I guess that just makes it you and me.” He watched her for a second his face unreadable then in a lightning fast motion unsheathed his sword and jumped at her his face a mask of fury. “You have done us great damage but I will finish this here and now!” He shouted, his golden voice echoing around the room. Velene smiled as she easily blocked his attack. The obsidian bracelet on her wrist, a flash of pain that got her attention. This signaled, the book had been stolen back, the girl rescued, and now… her exiting time. “Well… This has been a nice chat but it’s time to say goodbye. For now.” and with a grin and a puff of smoke, she was gone. ************************************************************************************************************ Ok, I guess I should explain the story line since there is no introduction and no beginning really. This is a story of a conflict between two different forces, darkness and light. Struggles have occurred between these two races on a small scale for some time, but now, the Gods have gotten involved. The Gods of light have imprisoned the Gods (called Domaens) of the dark peoples: Ma’uibo and the Re’iot, the two “worst” factions of darkness. The armies of the Shnedae have pretty much been destroying them, while the rest of the dark community turns a blind eye to their troubles because they don’t want to be attacked as well. The rest of the dark communities version of fighting against the oppressors has mostly been peace talks going nowhere sooo… the dark beings under attack are kind of frustrated. Oh… they also took a valuable dark book, and the princess of the Re’iot so that’s why Velene is in the tower causing a distraction. :mrgreen:
CHAPTER 5 Longer and longer they stood there, the tension grew thicker, until it finally broke. Gods fell to the ground in a bloody heap as medics arrived to patch up his wounds. What was once a small, newbie, was now a hero in their eyes. Saint fell to his knee and cried in relief as the rain poured on his already drenched back. He had won. Just then Zaln, Bastion, and McGreen rushed around him with congratulations. "Holy **** man, I thought you were a goner!" "How did you do that?" "That was amazing!" Saint just replied with a grin. "Look, how about we get some sleep, eh? It's cold out here." "You got it." Replied Bastion as they all walked towards camp. Later that morning they were woken up by Seargent. "Breifing room, ten minutes." which was met with many groans. When they finally reached the breifing room, Seargent Josh was waiting impatiently. "What the hell took you so long! This is important!" "Sorry..." Apologized the group in unison. "Anyway, we just got intel from HQ where NRA's third lieutenant, 'Smallz', is hiding. We want you to infiltrate the premises and take him back alive. Is this clear?" "Sir, yes sir! Let's move out group." Bastion ordered as the chopper landed outside. As they got inside, Saint just had to ask, "Hey pilot, where we heading?" "Antarctica." replied the pilot to the groups amazement. Edit, anyone?