Second the last chapter: Heard* not Head. I don't understand the old man part. So the old man came out, and he was stopped, you mean stooped? Also you said something like Isen came out with the old man? You said Isen came out "silent and alone". Alone? Oxymoron much? Then his family "Egan I". You mean began to? Typo or autocorrect? Besides for those few confusing bits, the story is amazing, and it's starting to pick up speed. I love it!
Well neither brand's spellcheck takes this kind of grammar into account, so there'd actually be no benefit. You're just hating on Apple based off biased preferences. I've used both in almost equal measure, enough to know this. Thanks for your suggestion though.
I like it so far. The description is great and the plot is very original. The only thing I would criticize is your love of commas. Yes, they're nice in making the story have a rhythm but there are so many -- practically in every sentence -- that it makes the writing seem a bit tedious.
I love commas. It makes my characters have a cold, detached sense if I want them to, as they have multiple thoughts and all that. I can't really explain it...
I'm thinking of making those corrections to chapter 3, and possibly adding a new one today. Be on the lookout over the next twelve hours.
I got around to making some slight changes and fixes to Chapter 3. I'll be uploading Chapter 4 later today. This I swear.